Always Been In Love

I've known him since I was a young girl.I always used to visit my relatives in PR and he Is a neighbor.Anyway when I was about 22 I moved in with my grandmother I had split up with my cheating husband and he started coming around and he started talking to me by the way he is married and before I even thought of becoming his lover I befriended his wife big mistake, well one night he stopped by my grandma cousin and I were sitting outside and we were all hungry and wanted a burger so he offered a ride I assumed my cousin was coming she wasn't so I went along with him happy as can be finally I was going to be alone with this man whom I've always loved we never did get the food but we did fool around we've fooled around for12 years and I love him so much it hurts me to love him so much.I returned with my husband we have 2 boys after 10 years I returned for my grandmothers funeral he immediately came to my side and treated me like he had never done so I thought this was it we were going to leave our spouses and live together but no he stopped speaking to me after three months told me he loved me but couldn't leave her or his children.He killed me that day it has been 2 years and I think about him day and night I still cry and love him more than ever.I know one thing if I ever go back to PR I know even if it is for sex he will be with me we had great sex and great times all this time his wife never found out.Sometimes I want to call him but I hold back I am afraid he will hang up on me. I am a mess because I love him.  I believe that in his way just a little he loves this fool,Ever since I got in that car 12 years ago and our affair started and ended and I could not be with him never except when my boys were born have I ever been happy again.

snowprincez74 snowprincez74
31-35, T
1 Response Mar 5, 2009

.. I do feel for you, its really hard. I know how it feels to love someone you can't be with. But you know what you can get over him, its not easy but it is possible. You deserve to love someone who wants to be with you full time. In my experience loving someone who is with someone else never ends well. The decision to let go is yours. Are you ready to free yourself from that agony? For your sake I hope so. Once you free yourself you make space for true love without any boundaries. I wish you well. God bless.