Need Advice

when i was 18, i told my male friend i  was in love with him. he told another friend that he just wanted to be friends but he never told me this he didnt know how to tell me so we just went on and continue to be friends. four yrs later we are closer then we were back then. i think he has feelings for me too but he's never told me, we have never talked about the day i "confessed" my love to him. my feelings for him have never changed, i love him even more now. but now i want answers i want to know how he feels now but  i dont how to apporach him. his action tells me he has feelings but he's never told me. if anyone has any advice please give it to me...
roulette roulette
22-25, F
4 Responses Aug 15, 2007

I just wanted to clarify something - that I am suggesting you create a situation that is likely to result in any chemistry between you and him *igniting*. It's not really about sexual attraction per se, although obviously that is an important part of things. <br />
<br />
Myspip is right in that obviously things never turn out how we dream and plan they will - but the fact is that having a *second go* at a [friendship -> relationship] is not a high success rate operation. You need to give yourself every chance of success - romance takes effort by the courter, after all.

hmm, the tardy dodo's way is worth trying, but do not forget; it is love you want from him; not only sexual attraction; and also keep in mind; not everything is as ideal as in movies. <br />
In the end, if you don't get any results, remind him that you love him, and have a talk together; sometimes talking is better than flirting... Good luck

Open disclosure of how you feel about them RARELY ever has the desired outcome. You know this yourself.<br />
<br />
My question to you is WHY do you need to know how he feels? What difference does it make? What are you really trying to achieve by finding out that information directly?<br />
<br />
I think what you would like over all is for the two of you to be together romantically. <br />
<br />
I think what your subconscious want is for you to get what you want without any risk of being hurt. But we both know, there is no way that approach ever works. <br />
<br />
Your best bet for romantic success is to<br />
a) Slowly build the tension between the two of you<br />
b) Create a bit of non-friends space, some secret part of your life that will get him INTRIGUED <br />
c) Create romance conducive situations, whatever those might be for you<br />
d) Seize the moment, when it comes! <br />
<br />
You might also want to study seduction manuals and the like. Before you ignore this suggestion outright, consider this: he MAY NOT KNOW that he has feelings for you yet. Men can be very dense about these things. So the trick is to bring him to the point where he *can* suddenly realise that he does have feelings for you. I am not saying seduce him. I am saying learn how to get him to see you with a new set of eyes, and then everything will snap into place.<br />
<br />
Do it right, and maybe *he* will seize the moment and sweep you off your feet, or timidly confess his feelings, or whatever matches his personality.<br />
<br />
But if you really want this, whatever you do, don't just go and ASK him how he feels.

The only thing for you to do is to ask him directly (without frightening him).<br />
If you won't ask him, you'll never get to know; you gotta take the chance.<br />
You only live once, so your entire life is an experiment (frightening but true); better to have something done in that experiment than to have been all passive throughout...<br />
If I'm not mistaken, I think you've saved yourself for him; maybe not sexually, but at least mentally and spiritually; that's why your love for him has not subsided.<br />
If it happens that he is not in love with you; at least you are no longer living in doubt; of course you'll get hurt and sad; but time always heals a broken heart (even though it'll seem impossible for you) [I've been there... it took me 10 month, thanks to my naïvety...].<br />
Well, I can only wish you the best of luck. I'll be here for you whenever you need someone to talk with! :)