Learning to Recover

Hello, I am really glad to find all these groups. My story is a bit long, so I tried to compress it. I am twenty-two now but feel in love with my ex-boyfriend in seventh grade. At first, I was dating his best friend, but I really had my eye on him. This started the yo-yo rollercoaster I put myself through for ten years. My ex, I will call him Bill, lead me around and around. I would ask him out and he'd agree. An example is I asked him to go to the freshman dance and he said he couldn't go because his parents wouldn't allow it. I went alone, and saw him kissing a girl who hated me! I should have seen the signs then, but I was madly in love with him. This began with my calling him, making dates (which he broke) and all sort of going around. I lived down the street from him, yet he said he had a hard time seeing me!

The dam broke when he started dating my best friend who lived in Virgina. He called her everyday and had her stay two weeks at his house! I can't tell you how much it hurt. Well, I foolishly plowed on and tried to establish a really serious relationship at nineteen. He said he wanted to marry me, and I believed him, yet I hardly ever saw him! We lived in the same town! I loved him so much! Well, one day he called me and said he was too busy and that's the last I ever heard of him.

When we were dating when I was twenty he said he'd pick me up to go Christmas shopping. He would not call when he said he would and I'd be in tears cussing him out. I felt very frustrated because sometimes he'd act like he didn't know me. One time I caught him holding hands with an overweight girl, and I asked why he did it.  He said it was to comfort her. I saw him about three months ago with a pregnant girl. I don't know if it was his girlfriend or not. He said he loved me many times and even suggested marriage once. I don't know if he said it just to please me. When I was with him I felt really loved, but sometimes he acted like I didn't exist!!

I don't think he ever loved me, just used me as a last resort

ChihuahuaSweetheart ChihuahuaSweetheart
31-35, F
2 Responses Mar 11, 2009

i hope you can find someone else. one who treats you good!

I think you may have become the helpful friend. There has to be some point when he stopped feeling romantic and still wanted you in his life. I think I'd try talking to him about this but I'd make it clear that you will be dating other guys.