My Story Is Pretty Tame By Comparison

Reading other people's stories I feel mine is fairly tame.

Anyway, back in college in 2004 there was a TA I developed a crush on in one of my courses. The reason I fell for her was because I felt I could talk to her, she had a good sense of humor and I felt at ease with her, like I didn't have to put up pretenses and could be myself. After the class ended I asked her out and she said she was busy that day, but her body language whenever I would see her after that was weird. I'd catch her staring at me and when I saw her doing it she'd wave awkwardly. Stuff like that happened alot. She seemed very subdued and awkward when I saw her after that, thats the best way to put it. I don't think I creeped her out because I've seen that response in other women. Just to clarify.

So I google her name to see if she has graduated yet and saw she married another student back in January. It sucks. I think what hurts the most is that I never got a chance to try with her. Like I said to her when I asked her out, I didn't know her as well as I'd like to and maybe after we spent time together we'd find we didn't like each other. But I never even got a chance to try. And I really don't know if she liked me back or what.

Of all the women I've known or dated or liked in my life, this is the only one I would care if she got married. Every other woman who I've known or been attracted to, go ahead and get married because I am not phased. But this one bothers me. It makes you think thoughts like 'what is it that lets someone else marry her and I can't get a date with her'. And you know the thoughts are destructive and unfair, but you think them anyway. How can someone else get such an intimate relationship with her and I couldn't get any? 

But deep down inside you know its just the way things are in this life.

Darwinsutopia Darwinsutopia
26-30
3 Responses Mar 17, 2009

Ohh? So that's why...<br />
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I can't believe I spent about 40 mins plus to type in my comment just to find out that the storyteller has posted another comment before me.<br />
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So it looks like you haven't found anyone as interesting yet?

Well I guess 5 years ago is a pretty long time to get over this issue, no? Hope you are doing good over there.<br />
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Though, I can tell you that it's true that it sucked you a lot when you don't even have any chance to try - because I had a *little* similar experience myself and I guess this particular situation - where you don't get the chance to go too near with someone you seem to click a lot - also gave me lasting impression since I couldn't do anything to make anything better.<br />
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Anyway, I find it amusing that you actually "google" her name up; and I thought I was the only one who like to 'research' on people I take fancy of. And I notice you actually took time to observe your surrounding before making any post (looking at your title) which is pretty good, considering that I know some people that think they're in the bottom of the pit when in fact they're not.<br />
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Maybe I read too much into things but it's probably because you shared certain traits in common with this person over here :)

She wasn't already married when I asked her out though, I asked her out in 2004 and she got married in January of 2009. She wasn't even dating the guy she married when I asked her out. <BR><BR>I just found out about it a couple of weeks ago, so it still bothers me a bit.