To You

I know you will never read this and even if you do, by some cosmic coincidence, stumble upon this entry, you will never realize it was that it this is meant for you. So, I guess it's ok to put here, in broad daylight even though I cannot talk to you anymore.

You brought so much love and happiness into my life at a time when I thought it could not exist any more. You showed me that there was still hope, still joy to be found. You taught me how to love again. How can I ever show you my gratitude for what you did for me? 

Somehow, somewhere though, there were mistakes made, judgements made, and a lot of wrong headedness by all involved. I have no idea how you are doing. I hope that you are having a much easier time of this than I am. These past three months have been the worst of my life, not having you around. Some days are ok, some days are not so ok, and then there are the days that - well, I just shouldn't get out of bed - but I do anyway and spend most of the day on the verge of tears.

I've never questioned myself about what happened. I've never asked myself "Was it worth it?" To me, every minute with you was worth all of the agony I've had to endure since then. I would gladly choose you again. You are that special to me, that important to my life now. I would have had it no other way.

I gave you a gift. You always have a choice. Sometimes, yes, there are no good choices, but there is always a choice. You choose. You choose who you love. I chose you. I know you did not choose me back, but that is ok. I can accept that. Sure, I wish it would have been a different choice. I still hope in my heart of hearts that someday you will choose me. I know it's a fools dream, but still I dream. I am Don Quixote and you are my Lady, my Dulcinea. I love you, m'Lady. Always have, Always will. I just hope that one day that you will choose to shine your light on me and bring me forth from the darkness in which my heart currently resides.

I used to wish you a goodnight wish every night when we still talked. I miss that. I miss waking up with your name on my lips. I miss vibrating. I miss the sparkle in your eyes when we shared a common joke or the way you would growl when I teased you. I miss you, m'Lady. So, let me wish you a goodnight as once I did...

Know that while the sun sets and the light fades from the sky; that while darkness covers the land and your fears take shape, that it is only temporary. The darkness shall pass and the sun rise once more to chase away your fears and to warm your skin. Yet, while the darkness persists, do not fear. You are not alone and someone thinks of you. Let the stars be your light and perhaps, as you gaze at them at night, someone else is watching them too and thinking of you. And should there be tears in your eyes tonight, should there be sorry in your heart, hold onto this thought: you are loved and I am thinking of you. I will never forget you m'Lady. I will always be there for you should you need me. You have only to call my name and no matter the distance, no matter the cost - I will come to your side. So, sleep, my Love, my Twin. I will guard your dreams tonight.

Eternally Yours

KnightBlade KnightBlade
41-45, M
20 Responses Mar 21, 2009

This is amazing confession i read ever ,its great job to write your feeling before going to be crazy if you didn't , my advice to forget her if you think that she would never want if not you can thinking of her as much as you can and she will come to you :) believe me good luck

A lump in my throat, a stream of tears as I feel the words whilst reading them. I too loved, love and still love someone who once said they did but never truly. Unrequited love is selfless yet painful. Love is eternal in thought, in words and in action. I pray that someone deserving of your heart will show you how tog mend your broken pieces as do I.

I know Lm will never come across this, you will never know the extent of my love, you were wrong for me, I do not regret a moment, this pain I experience is worth every smile and laugh we created. You will never ever hold me, touch me, kiss me, hold my face in the cusp of your hands, caress me, spoon with me, make me experience pleasure like anything I have before, you will never deserve me in any capacity, lover, friend, enemy. I will never get to kiss your soft, inviting, gorgeous lips that take me to paradise. I will never get to enjoy your company which I so miss.

But I must leave everything behind, start anew, fresh, it's a shame you never knew my worth or what you had in me. I'm still in love with you and will always love you LM. Goodbye x

them feels -sniff-

I feel the same way bout my my ex

I wish someone would feel like that about me.

What else is there but sweet memories-her name was Kayleigh

This almost made me cry. I have a HUGE crush on a guy!I have written soooo many songs about him. My songs aren't nearly as heartfelt as this.:)

the same story is going up with me.some times i try to say to my self she is as common as every one else and all my passion is because i am away from her.but I realy know that if I was with her, things were different.she was not a very exeptional one but if we could sincerely love each other, we could create exeptionals....

this is great i feel as if i am saying it to someone that i lost

Thank you dear Annalea. It's been over a year now since last I wrote that. The days and nights have become easier to bear. I went back and re-read what I wrote, already knowing the words from heart though it has been so long since I last laid eyes on them. I read them, wondering, have my feelings changed. No, they are still as strong and as true as they were when I first wrote this. Though it has been nearly a year and a half since last we spoke, not a day goes by when I don't wonder about her. I wonder if she's ok. I wonder did she laugh today? Or, if she had a rough day, was there someone there who was able to make her smile again or listen to her. I hope so. Without jealousy, I hope so. I hope she does have someone she can go to - because, I want her to be happy. She was my best friend - my twin. Every day, I wake up feeling as if a part of me is missing. Yet, I've learnt to accept that loss and I still hold onto hope that one day, when she is ready, we will once again talk and the past put aside.

I tears are flowing from my eyes; and making me cry is not an easy thing to do. My heart was actually aching while I read this confession, this baring of your heart. I think that this kind of love is rare, it is kind and unselfish. Your character shines through; and my heart definitely aches for you.

If only this was the way of all hearts,then are world would be beautiful

Thank you for all your wonderful comments. I too hope I get to share this with her some day. It's been over a year since last I saw her now and still these words are true to how I feel about her. Yet, I don't think she is ready yet to have me be a part of her life..perhaps someday our love and friendship can be restored. I sincerely hope so because she means the world to me.

Type your comment here...

It reaches the soul

Fight for her. She may not understand what she is letting go. You commented on my confession about my relationship and our age difference. If this is the girl you commented about, fight for her. She may be I was and still am. But if you know she loves you the way you love her, give her time but don't let her go. Of course, I might be completely off course because I don't know the situation. But we ended our relationship many many times because of fear of what other people would say. But he never really let me get over him, and just that little push he always gave me finally became courage to face it and be with him. I wish you all the best, your story had a deep impact on me and I really hope you get your love back.

Ohh...m touched.and overwhelmd.u knw rx,i think just the ability to love some1 wit such intensity and depth is great in itself.ofourse it would hav been more wonderful if she had responded with same feelings.but even withot that ur love is beautiful.and UNIQUE.there r fEw people lyk u in world who can love so selflesly.doesnt it feel blissful when u thnk abt her and the love for her?sure it is painful a swtpain.hope u manage it all

For some reason, this post touches me a great deal....<br />
<br />
Although your post skims over the exact details, it remains vivid enough as a testament to how deeply you have and still do love her...<br />
<br />
Let this love glow, even if she doesn't reciprocate... Perhaps one day, someone worthy of you, would come along and bask in the love you are capable of...<br />
<br />
I would be keeping you in my prayers although i do not know who you are or where you are from but still i sincerely wish you well..<br />
<br />
Good luck and take heart!

my eyes kinda watered up ... :( oh well life continues and new loves will come..

How I wish this was for me from the one I am lost without.