"Everywhere I Look Everyone Has Someone Else, I Don't Think Anyone Is Looking For Me"

I had gotten out of a really bad relationship with a guy.  A year later I meet someone else on Facebook.  He was so kind and caring and we got a long really well.  He told me he had gotten out of a three year old relationship with a girl in early januray.  It was then November.  He told me she was crazy (which she is).  He was the first boy to tell me he love me. And I appreciated everything he did for me.

One morning we were in the car and he got a text message from her.  I started to get really upset. I told him I didn't like her texting him or talking to him and worse yet him repsonding.  He wrote a text right there in front of me that said "please stop texting me, its bothering my new girlfriend. you need to move on"  he then had me read it and send it to her.

So I went home for Thanksgiving. I had made plans for him to come with me for Christmas. When I came back I once again found the message on his phone from her. This time I asked him who it was.  He told me it was someone named Steve.  I knew he was lieing.  I told he was lieing and I was crying and asking why he would do this when he knew how much it bothered me?  He told me he didn't tell me because he was trying to "protect me".

 I am a brunette with brown eyes. A few days later he asked me if I would get blonde in my hair.  I told him I did it before and I didn't like it.  He then said "well I always wanted a blonde girlfriend with light eyes but I never had one." I was so hurt.  He doesn't know it but I went home that night in tears that night.  I was so hurt.

I couldn't back out of the plans I had for Christmas so he still came with me.  in the car ride to my house he asked me if it was okay if he went to a ***** club.  I didn't like the idea and it really hurt me.  It was like he was saying without saying it to me Im not good enough. We still went to my house.  We were fine for the time he was there with me but I was still upset. 

He went home.  I was at my house and I wouldn't see him for two and half weeks.  In the process he told me he wasnt ready for a relationship and that he couldn't committ.  I didn't understand he was the one who asked me to date him.  I later found his myspace while we were still together that read in his about me section "I am single and loving it, if there are any girls looking to have a good time call me or look for me on facebook" he left his phone number and facebook address. 

That was it.  I couldn't deal with it anymore.  I broke everything off.  Then a week after we break up he is in a relationship with some other girl.  I was so heart broken. I feel as if I'm never going to be good enough for anyone.  My first ex treated me like crap and was not the nicest person in the world.  And now this one. I truly believe no one wants me and it makes me cry everytime I think about it.  I watch so many other people and so desperately want a healthy relationship but I know Im not good enough.

daisy925 daisy925
18-21
1 Response Mar 28, 2009

You're not 'not good enough'. Please don't let two relationships bring you to an end like that--heartbreak is beyond words but there are so many other people out there--people who do want you and who don't at all think you're not good enough.