Story of My Life

It seems every time I have had feelings for someone, they were one-sided, even when I was dating them. Sometimes I think I give more of myself then anyone else is willing to return.  A sense of being unappreciated for as much effort as I put into others is something I carry.
Honehe Honehe
18-21, F
10 Responses Feb 6, 2007

I feel the same way. But lately someone loves me and i dont love him back the way he loves me and so i decided to end the relationship. I am happy.<br />
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Now i like this guy. He is everything except for the hight. Just about my hight and i am a shorty. I really like him and i just found out he is in a relationship. Oh, well, that gives me time to focus on more important things cos he is not so important in my life after all.

Me too. I give and give of myself and show my love and appreciation and get scraps in return. I make the effort but nothing is ever reciprocated. I just....don't understand. I am by no means smothering. I am patient and understanding. But obviously I am also a fool......w/ a broken heart.

If the person is truly the one for you, the person will understand and accept you no matter what you do, sadly I cant find my true love T.T . I understand a bit but if you like the person a lot, then that just makes me happy in tears because people dont often find love like that.

I think you may find that the reason you feel you don't get back what you put in is because the other person feels pressurised into returning the favour - You're probably not consciously creating that pressure, its just its impossible to avoid it. Think of the times when it has been the other way round.. there will be some I'm sure. Think of the times when someone was looking at you, waiting for a positive response from you.. They may not have been consciously waiting, but you felt their desire for you to reply and you shyed away.<br />
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Relationships are often like a strand of elastic connecting two people. One person is pulling hard in one direction (consciously or unconsciously) and the other feels the pull. It is only when both participants choose to go in a particular direction that progress is made. Many relationships never really travel much further than the start point.... they just spend years pulling eachother in different directions, opposing eachothers directions, merely for the fun of the battle. Some relationships survive very well like this... as they can be very exciting. But most people (after a time) need to feel that things are moving and progressing. If the other person doesn't feel this need at the same time as you, then there's not much anyone can do about it.<br />
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If you pull too hard on the piece of elastic, you may find that the other person lets go, or the elastic snaps. Relationships, like the piece of elastic, are an entity of their own. When you learn to treat them accordingly, the strand gets stronger (thicker if you like) but the ends of the strand draw closer together.. (the gap between the two of you narrows).<br />
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Until you feel this is the case, don't take the link you have with someone too seriously. Doing that is more likely to break it than strengthen it.

I think a lot of women can relate to how you feel, myself included! I don't know if there will ever be a simple solution... perhaps its an indication that those of us who feel that way just haven't found the right person for us? Either that or men don't have the same emotional range as we do!

It's the most down feeling being unappreciated even though you give all ur self and love for someone whom can't even little.....i feel the same way too....but try to appreciate yourself....no matter how they bring you down...just loved yourself...me...i'm trying now to live all by myself...cause i know no one cares for me...be happy im here for you

I feel pretty much the same as you. So many times i have given my all and then some to people that don't give a s***! It's all about what have you done for me lately. I hate that kind of additude! It's one thing to give without expectations, but another to give with expectations and get nothing in return. When you care about someone you want to do things for them or I do anyway. But when your efforts are not appeciated it certainly hurts!!!

**** thiese relationships now i just bang ******* for fun you have to be good looking because im a model no strings just sex equals no pain

I've also felt similar to this. I've always felt like I've given my whole heart, and they're only giving part of theirs. Sometimes I wonder what might have been only if they'd met me at the same level. I think though, this is just a part of finding the right person... someone willing to meet you at that same level that you're willing to give.

I understand where you're coming from, because I feel like that too. And to be honest with you, I think a lot of the lack of appreciation from others has more to do with *me* than them. It's not fair to other people to do things for them and expect appreciation in return. - because regardless of how good the intentions are, people can still *sense* the obligation. And nobody reacts well to that.<br />
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I think the solution is to only ever do things for people because one really wants to do whatever it is for oneself, not for other people. That way, it's a genuine gift, and without obligation. Then there's no disappointment when no appreciation is forthcoming... (and I'm sure the paradoxical will happen and people *will* be more appreciative. It seems to be one of life's truism that you have to be willing to go without whatever it is you want before you'll ever get it).