...and I Think the Feeling Was Mutual.

We had been really close friends for about a year & half. Lunches, playing cards in his office, happy hours, countless chatting sessions at my desk, then at his. So many similarities in music, movies, humor, both have ex-Catholic guilt...and both happily married (he with kids to boot). 

He was my favorite & I his (and we let each other know). Unexpected gifts at my desk, same at his. Even going so far as to make sure we had hotel rooms next to each other at offsite meetings. But something held me back. And I'm pretty sure it was the same thing holding him back as well.

A few weeks ago, he resigned & took a job at another company and is moving two time zones away. He promises he'll keep in touch...but its almost tortuous.  I'd rather he just left me alone.

I cried the day he left. I couldn't even say goodbye...I didn't want him to see me like that.  I haven't felt heartbreak like that since I split up with my first boyfriend. I apologized via email for not seeing him off - he says "not goodbye, till next time - when I move to xx [where he knows I'm thinking of moving to]".

aaauuuggghhhh!

chikbee chikbee
36-40, F
17 Responses Feb 6, 2007

maybe this is karma for indulging in an intimate relationship while you both were married. Just my opinion, but I don't think you should have let it go that far.

I think fallentower said it pretty well. I have encouraged my husband to continue his casual friendships with other women because i trust him fully. On the other hand, there would be a BIG question mark in my mind if he was devasted and kept moping about not seeing that person on a daily basis. Reevaluate your life and try to find out why that one friend was so important.

maybe it was best you two dident act on this you both being married this could have relly ended bad

WOW fallentower you nailed it huh?I think the reason for this problem was "a not so happy marriage".If they are happy w/their partners then they won't look for another companionship.<br />
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So chikbee better focused on what's lacking in marriage then if you can solve it then that's the time you will think of another relationship.<br />
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I hope you can find the right decision...Good Luck...

Being attracted to someone other than the one you made a vow to is a huge clue that the marriage is lacking. Decide what you want to look back on when you are 80 years old, and work hard towards that goal. Tempting a father from his children, not to mention his woman, would probably not be something to be proud of in the future and adds to the baggage we drag around. I've been there.

this sounds like the beginning of a story ive heard... <br />
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and you would be surprised at the happy ending.. turns out like u and him these two were also happily married when they met.. they both ended up fallin in love with each other but didnt act upon it... the guy ended up moving away and lost touch with the girl shortly after.. but after so many years they found each other again and both had been divorced... and so their love, you could say was meant to be after all... <br />
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i kno ur married but u never know.. things happpen.. and if ur story ends anything like this one.. then it was meant to be. <br />
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-DeUce-

some times you can love some one and not expect nothing back in return and still live with the fact they will never be part of your life but only for a moment will last a life time and im a great believer that if you love somthing you should set it free if they were ment to be they will return so dont live every day wondering if he will come back just enjoy the memorys ,what will be will be. xx

Wow...my question to you would be, how "happily married" are the two of you? Is there something missing that you didn't realize until you met him? I'm just curious...I've been in this spot before, and while nothing ever came of it directly (she moved to another job and we lost touch), it did teach me something about my marriage that I hadn't realized.

It's good that you two are at least still on good talking terms and are, in a way, soulmates.^^

I really feel for your pain. I went through 2 really painful and damaging breakups and if I'm really honest I have to say that I'm not totally over either of them. :P

I hope you two can work it out. We all need close frienships, and I admire the connection you have. <br />
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:)

Keep in touch if you can - this will take courage. Life circumstances can change. But be realistic about it, because they might not change in a way that will allow you to be together. Still, without the connection, you'll never know. Blessings to you both and good luck.

Keep in touch if you can - this will take courage. Life circumstances can change. But be realistic about it, because they might not change in a way that will allow you to be together. Still, without the connection, you'll never know. Blessings to you both and good luck.

I admire both of you for not acting on your feelings! If you are both married, and he has children, it might not be so smart to get involved--even though it hurts like hell! just my "square" opinion here, lol! i do wish you the best, no matter what!

I don't think this counts as unrequited love... I think this counts as YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! :D :D <br />
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Good luck!!!

life circumstances... blame the catholic education

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