She Married Someone Else

   I just found out that this girl called L... married at the beggining of the current year. I met her at collage, she was this beautiful creature almost like floating around the classroom. I'm not a talkative guy, mostly 'cause I don't think people understand what I say and I'm easy labelled as a "weirdo" or a "creep". But she really understood me, I think it's the only person that ever has. I hated what I was studying but she was like a sunshine in my horrible world. And I think that she really liked me and was, somehow, fascinated with. I'm not just gloomy and dark, I'm also intelligent and capable of having interesting conversations. I think those were the kind of things she liked in me.

   She had a series of boyfriends but she always trusted me. She had nice gestures with me all the time. I liked to draw and sometimes she asked me for a drawing 'cause she liked them; other time she told me that certain song remaind her of me, other time she brought me cake from a party she had, etc., nice things that nobody has ever done to me. I should have made a move at the time, but I was kind of depressed and I thought she was out of my league.

   After collage I met her sometimes by chance in the theater or at the movies. I started to fantasize about being with her, in a good way of course. I imagined we living together, having a couple of children, a nice house, travelling around the world and all sort of romantic things. But now she got married and this things will never happened. I'm so heartbroken right now. I never had had a break in my life, everything I start ends being a failure and this news is what I just needed right now. She was my chance to be happy, a dream that gave shape and hope to my world. Now the dream is gone and I feel so empty. I'm not sad, just numb. I can't feel anything and I think this is how I'm gonna spend the rest of my life, like a robot. Why can't something go right in my life? I don't know what I'm going to do, just live everyday without hope. DAMN!!! I was so in love with her!!!

 

PD: Ha, ha, ha. I was reading my story "I woke up thinking of her" I wrote it a year ago, it was about L..., the same girl form this story. So pathetic, I actually thought a year ago I had a chance. Read it and you will see how good and honest dreams are destroyed.