So Happy I Found This Website

First of all, I have to say that I'm more scared writing this than when I told the girl in question how much she means to me, but at the same time I know I have to write this for my own sanity, if nothing else. I can't trust my best friends who know me almost as well as I know myself with this story, only because I know it hasn't happened to them.

It started on the first day of university, when I met a girl before the very first lecture. We hit it off straight away, and while I could see she was attractive, I had just got out of a relationship less than a week beforehand with a girl I genuinely thought I was going to be with in 40 or 50 years time (coming from a guy who is petrified of any form of commitment), and was just trying to make new friends.

Over the next few weeks, we spoke a fair amount but never got particularly close, and for a few months she dropped almost completely off my radar but then reappeared in summer. In that time, I had forgotten just how attractive she was and how much I enjoyed speaking to her, but as we were starting to become closer, it was the summer holidays and she went off home. We spoke over msn over summer, and when we returned to uni we became really close once again, to the point where we agreed to live together in our final year. It was around about this time I realised just how much I needed her to be around to make me happy. I never needed anyone to tell me what I was doing was right, apart from her. I had come to subconsciously depend on her, but by this time she had found a boyfriend. When I found out, I was a bit down, but I accepted it, and anyway she still spent a lot of time with me. We spent a lot of time speaking over Christmas, and on the day we got back for the new term, her boyfriend broke up with her and she immediately came around and just cried on me for a while. After then, I tried so hard not to think about her but I couldn't manage for long, and gave in and emailed her, telling her just how much she means to me, and how much happier I always was around her. Her reply was crushing, not an outright rejection, but telling me that if i'd asked her out before her previous bf that she would have said yes but she needed time. Now, I thought we were back to normal as we continued to spend a lot of time together (sending the departmental rumour mill absolutely crazy, I might add), and jokingly calling each other 'husband' and 'wifey', but it's starting to affect me again. I really need to stop myself from telling her that there's no way i'm over her yet, but the last thing I want to do is ruin a friendship, especially one this good with somebody I care about so much.

Anyway, thanks for reading this, any comments are welcome. As I say, I'm more scared writing this than I was emailing her.
jack24 jack24
18-21, M
15 Responses Feb 18, 2007

Wow, I have been with a girl for 2 and a half years and I am thinking: Should I stay and risk never having her love for me or should I go and risk losing her because something could happen. I realize I need to put things in God's hands. We are close and really good friends. We have been taking a break from being boyfriend girlfriend because it freaks me out when we have contention in our relationship. We have good moments that are really good and sometimes we have some difficult moments. I am glad to hear your experience. I hope you know that what I know is important in life is to seek to do what is right. That is no easy thing. There are all kinds of people who will tell you what to do. I do believe in a God who listens to our prayers and answers them according to his will and his time. I know he his our kind Heavenly Father. I hope you don't mind me sharing. He is guiding me to be a better person. I know it may sound unreal but I really believe in God. I would encourage you to seek more from God what to do than from men who have a limited understanding of your situation. Whatever the case God bless and good luck in your journey my friend. Prayer and the word of God is my suggestion to you for help in what to do.

dont keep ur feeling just tell her and gave her time for think ... cuz At least you know that you tried ur best to be with her good luck

and that is if she wanted a relationship then she would have dropped a few hints or made it apparent in some way shape and/or form. The bottom line is the balls inher court now. If she needs time then fine give it to her but don't put your life on pause. You should keep her as a possibility not as "the one." Go out with other girls and try to be happy cuz you deserve to be happy to. PLEASE dont sit around waiting for her to make up her mind cuz when she does u may or may not like her decision but you'll never get that time back. Plus think of all the potentially great friendships u could be missing out on by limiting your slef to her. Its not fun waiting on people like your doing and it really isn't fare of her for asking you to just give her more time when she's trying to decide whats best for herself and not considering the stain its putting on you.

I knew this 1 girl since 1st grade we lived on the same street untill I was 17 and moved out on my own. By the time we graduated she had a longterm bf and I had a not to serious girl friend. I left for the Marines but always visited her when I was in town plus we talked all the time over the years. When I was 23 I moved back for school. By this point I was single and things with her bf were nearly non-existent we went to a bon fire and she was all over me! I didn't do anything tho because she had been drinking but it still gave me the idea that she wanted me (atleast to some degree.) So I told her how I felt at a party not to long after the bon fire night. I was devistated not cuz she didn't feel the same way but because she was locking lips with some other guy 10 minuts later. We new eachother since 1st grade and she couldn't even give me the decency of not making out with some other guy right after I told her how much I cared about her This made me realize what I had been denying to myself the whole time

I once heard..."Big hearts break easy", I believe they can as my big heart is still healing from the shatter. It took a BIG man to let that out. I applaud you jack24! I give you props and a Lifetime Acheivement Award because many young men, older men, and just men in general, cannot reach, touch, see, feel, or talk about their feelings that was taught, and learned since childhood. I have older reletives (like in their 50's and 60's) that have yet to reach the point you achieved this day, and there are just as many of us women, young and old, who need to connect with these feelings too. Props to you my friend!

I know how you feel. I was good friends with a coworker for two years and I loved everything about him. I thought the feeling was mutual but neither of us said a word. When I couldn't take it anymore I told him how I felt. He said that he had an illness (which I knew about) but I believed that if he felt the way I did then that wouldn't matter. I was crushed but I kept crushing. Telling him took alot of courage but when you feel the way I did, there is almost no other choice but to tell the person. <br />
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I don't think she wants a relationship with you. If she did then she would be all over you. This is only my opinion. If she does then something is getting in her way of it and it's not your fault. There is no telling how much time she needs. One day she may wish she had pounced on you but it isn't fair to you to wait around while she explores her options. Either way, I think you should try to date other people. You never know who else is out there and you deserve to be happy.

I was with a girl for 13 long years and we were more like friends then anything. We never did hook up but she called me her bf. Next thing i know she had a daughter and because i loved a cared about her so much i stayed with her and took her little girl in as my own. That little girl was my life. Then about 4 months ago i found pics of her on her phone sent to a guy and the pics were of her naked. So i guess what im trying to say is that it may or may not be worth it to wait. Most girls see that you will do anything for them and they don't even have to have sex with you but they can go out with anyone they want. So just be careful and really think about it man. They say if you love someone let them go and if they come back it was meant to be. Just make the right choice dude

I was with a girl for 13 long years and we were more like friends then anything. We never did hook up but she called me her bf. Next thing i know she had a daughter and because i loved and cared about her so much i stayed with her and took her little girl in as my own. That little girl was my life. Then about 4 months ago i found pics of her on her phone sent to a guy and the pics were of her naked. So i guess what im trying to say is that it may or may not be worth it to wait. Most girls see that you will do anything for them and they don't even have to have sex with you but they can go out with anyone they want. So just be careful and really think about it man. They say if you love someone let them go and if they come back it was meant to be. Just make the right choice dude

just wait for her C: give her time.

It sounds like when you told her your feelings she was still upset from her past relationship and couldn't cope with a new one. It's up to you whether you think she's worth waiting a bit longer for.

I understand what you are going throug the same is the case with me only i wasn't couragious like u and i regret it till today! She said she will think about it give her time remember if u let go something and if it comes back to you then it was truly meant to be yours!

Hi Jack,<br />
I know it's hard, but don't push her...you'll alienate her. If she's as special as you think she is, she'll be telling you the truth about needing time...women are usually more direct and honest about these things in my experience...men don't like "scenes and tears". It's a generalisation but a good rule of thumb Ive found. Just let her know that you're there for her and if she was being truthful she may just need time to heal....she liked you before so she still likes you as long as you don't change the way you react to her.... I wish you everything you wish for yourself!

Do what your heart tells you... At least when you turn back one day.. you knew you tried.

I say u should just hang in there it's tough sometimes but the best things come to those who wait....