Got to End the Pain!

There is no better way.
Think about how drugs work.
They are inanimate till they are used or abused by someone.
You are a person who is in love with a user but you are not inanimate, so you feel pain and maybe a little guilty pleasure.
In order to gain confidence, you must gain control.
Over the situation or your proximity to the situation.

Conversely, if you are secretly in your heart of hearts,
enjoying the tension this situation has created,
accept it for what it is until you cannot take it anymore.
Then plan to get out.

Getting out aint easy... The first step is always the hardest and could be the most painful part. Nevertheless..once you are out....it WILL be okay..

Type your comment here...I'm happy about this feedback and it helps me understand a lot of what has happened. I still wonder what's wrong with me to allow it. I've had an amazing and fortunate life but still allowed this to tear me apart inside and hope for something that was never possible.

So happy my initial comments helped!

There is noting wrong with you. You are a human and imperfect, so mistakes, mis-judgment and misdirection will happen. Accept it and embrace this. Then you can "learn" to go easier on yourself.

We all want what we cannot have, because the eye is satisfied with what it can see. But the eye is a small part of the body as are the "other parts" that speak loudly and seem to drown out the voices of the others.

I am in exactly the opposite situation. I am invisible to my husband unless he needs to show me off(Geek with mechanical aptitude, singer, dancer, makes her own clothes etc..) or needs me to do something. And I am attracted to a coworker who is unaware of the attraction.

Your story has different geography but we both feel deprived, and are both looking toward something that we know could result in a lot of alone time if our feelings are not reciprocated for the long term.

Try to separate what is good from what is bad if you were to succeed in attaining your hearts desire. are certain you will be happy? Will the real sex be as fab as that your are having in your head. Think of having this woman for the rest of your life... could you or would you want to?

There are so many variables... trying to think of them all will allow you suppress some of your desire and make it manageable.
About me:
I am venting, but thanx for the offer. I may take you up on it... I write ..........about my feelings for this person so I can minimize him in my mind.