Made It One More Day!

O ne week ago I was ready to do something nuts because I couldnt take the pain anymore. I found this site and started telling my story of pain for over 5 years. some great answers came my way and for some reason it allowed to to start taking action. It really is day by day and I have to fill the time that used to be filled with my thoughts of her. Today was the most difficult so far as we spent a big part of the day one on one at work. She was as amazing as ever but I was able to keep focused on the things and ideas people had passed on to me. If anyone had told me a month ago I could have survived this without melting down all weekend it would have seemed impossible. But I did survive and can tell anyone that reads this you can survive whatever your going through. Its one day at a time, taking control of your life, and putting value on your self and the contributions you make to others. I was still thinking today I wish she would look at me and tell me she loves me, but she didnt, and Im still here and doing just fine. In fact becasue I know a lot about her life and I was thinking one day she will look back on this and think about what she gave up. But in the end what she thinks really doesnt matter.