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Hard Day!

I have been doing pretty well for the past 10 or 12 days but knew I'd be faced with seeing her almost every day. Monday was really hard because she seems to understand things have changed and she was back to the beautiful little girl that was innocent and just needed someone to look out for her. It killed me inside because I know I am the right one but didn't let it get the best of me. I raced back in my mind to picture all the guys she has done this to. How she looks at me as a tool to feed her ego and give her control. I remembered when she told me about going to see an old boyfriend at a bar far from home and staying out until 3am and asking me why he thought she might be interested. Then she visited him in another state and acted upset he didn't respect she was married. She went to see him even though he told her he was still in love with her. A few weeks ago I watched her kiss a near perfect stranger on the lips and give him her big smile  and then look at me for reaction. All of that helped me walk away still feeling bad but no longer hoping things would change. I was insane for letting myself fall into this but sometimes wonder what its like for her husband or is he oblivious to what his wife is up to every single day. I didn't sleep much last night but felt proud of how I handled it and feel every day I will get stronger.

deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Sep 22, 2009

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Oh my TM - I too agree with the others on here. And yep - shadow is SOOO correct - you DID dodge a serious bullet. Women always talk about men who prey on their emotions, but I have seen way too many women on here, and in real life, that also toy with men's emotions. Stay strong. It gets better ... trust me. She is spriraling out of control - and you don't want to be there when the **** hits the fan ... although she will PROBABLY come back to you then.... good luck.

Oh my TM - I too agree with the others on here. And yep - shadow is SOOO correct - you DID dodge a serious bullet. Women always talk about men who prey on their emotions, but I have seen way too many women on here, and in real life, that also toy with men's emotions. Stay strong. It gets better ... trust me. She is spriraling out of control - and you don't want to be there when the **** hits the fan ... although she will PROBABLY come back to you then.... good luck.

sounds like she has issues and your doing the right thing.

She is a cougar.... and a slinger.<br />
One who makes notches on her belt, then moves on. <br />
Then plays with her prey like a cat and ultimately kills them if they cease to provide amusement........ Understand them.<br />
but have no time to be one of them

I have been there my friend you are not alone.

Wow, she is married and kissed another man in front of you. I can't believe she looked at you after kissing him! She obviously realizes that you have feelings for her and she likes the attention. The fact that you have been trying to avoid her is probably killing her. All of these things she does clearly states that she does not care for you. If you know someone cares for you, you would never kiss someone in their presence. You would know that it would hurt them. She is clearly looking for attention. You need to hold your head up high, realize you are too good for her and do something really nice for your wonderful wife. You need to be happy that you are not her poor husband:)