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After All This Time.....and, Now He Calls?!?

Lord!  It's 3 a.m., and I can't sleep!!!  My unrequited love....(after months and months of not hearing from him) has called me!!  And, it was only because he wanted something from me....for me to do some graphic design for him.  No problem.  I did it.  It's for his music.  I haven't talked to him in forever and I'm just so damn happy that he's pursuing his talent (he's SO ******* talented!!!)  I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to be a part of his music, even if it's only such a small part.  He couldn't leave it at getting the graphic designing for free....get THIS:  he wants to come spend the ******* weekend with me!  Says he needs to go to "that place," with me....that place where he found so much inspiration.  Says he feels like he's hit a dead end with the music and he needs to be in "my land" again, this time, on purpose.  What the ****??  I'm trying to just blow it all off.  I'm trying to tell myself he's full of ****...just using me.  But, I know for a fact that he did find inspiration through our knowing each other!  He'd never even held a guitar in his hand until he picked mine up....and, I SWEAR!  The first time he picked the damn thing up, he was making up songs....**** that had form, that he remembered, right there.  He sat there with that damn guitar for hours.  The next day, he went and bought his own.  Before two weeks was over, he was on stage at some open mic nite, playing his own original accoustic songs!  That was the main thing he credited me with, when we were still seeing each other....that he could see himself in me, through me...that my passion and talent and who I was were what led him back to music; rekindled his passion for it.  I believe that I inspire him.  But, I only half-believe that he wants to see me.  Geez!  He rejected me so harshly!  Just left me hanging...all by myself....flappin in the wind....didn't want anything to do with me.  Now, he says he needs to be around me....but only for the moment.


I should be strong and smart enough to not be vulnerable to him.  I only knew him for three months!  I can't even remember the last time I saw him.  Inside, I am aching to be in his presence...the man has become an iconic figure in my existence.  But, it's also become like he doesn't really exist...like he never really did.  He told me today that he loves me....that when he sees me, he's gonna hug me...he's gonna pick me UP, like a little girl, and walk around with me for a while.  But, I also don't want to see him.  In fact, I did the design really fast so he would just get what he wanted from me and I wouldn't HAVE to see him.  But, he's called me several times since he got the work I did for him.  He's still persisting with the weekend thing.  I want to just send him a message and tell him forget about it but, holy ****!!!  Until yesterday, I honestly believed I'd NEVER hear from him again!!  Wouldn't I be so pissed at myself for NOT seeing him??  Maybe I won't even feel the same.  Maybe he really has just become a part of my imagination....and, what if I see him and that beautiful fantasy is killed?  Worse yet, what if I feel the same??  Then, where would I be??  It's taken me SO long to put his stupid *** behind me...to accept that he is NOT for me, despite the incredible connection between us.  This is the little ****** that (finally) competed with the space in my heart that my dead husband has held for forever!  This isn't just some regular old joe to me!  Still, I'm angry with myself for responding to him the way I have.


He's probably gonna end up not wanting to see me.  I'm probably stressing over it for nothing.  But, now I'm stressing that he really might NOT want to see me.


He MUST be evil! 

MysticWriter MysticWriter 36-40, F 18 Responses Sep 22, 2006

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Some things or some people CAN'T be ignored probably because of the lessons that we are required to learn. Some people come into our lives for a reason, other people come into our lives for a season, but very few enter our lives for a lifetime. Our job is to figure out which catagory they fit into or we end up hurting ourselves instead.

Give it a try one last time, be leary of a man who dissapears and pops back in your life. Is he reliable, considerate or is he a taker? Does he evade questions? See if he does as he says..... actions always spseak louder than words.

nice made-up story.<br />
I dug it kid :)

If you don't spend that weekend that he is apparently insisting upon... you will regret it for the rest of your life!<br />
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"Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away."<br />
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I sail in your boat. How I wish I could ignore that intermitant call! I can't and won't! When I see him (he's 1000 miles away), I'm totally exilerated! Then sad.<br />
But the euphoric way in which he makes me feel is like no other. He takes my breath away!<br />
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So, go for it! Give this man you obviously care for a chance to take your breath away. Better yet... take his breath away!!<br />
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If you pass up the opportunity, you may never have another. Do it and without qualms or even thinking about the pain it COULD present. Your soul mate may be attempting to return! If not, think of the beautiful memories you'll make!

What ended up happening?

I say your gut is telling you what to do. While you need to use your head and protect yourself from hurt, it is also important to let yourself be vulnerable and open to what could be. I say go for it, as long as your gut is telling you that he is being really honest with you and not using you or making you feel like second best or someone he just leans on when he is down. <br />
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You are a special and talented person. You have your own set of things you need to worry about for you. I don't think you should ever let someone take over ALL of that. <br />
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Just how I see it. Good luck!

Trust me in this because I have A simular situation;I'm in love with a woman who is married.I didn't know it at first and I simply love head over heals for her.I have tried to leave it alone and move on but I can't!!! She says she loves me as well but won't "leave her kids"<br />
.THEY ARE ALL BUT GROWN. The youngest is 16 and is following in his father's path// He's in court today for breaking someones wind shield,and underage drinking and simple poss. AT 16! The two boys allowed their father to drug their mother in order to control her for 2 weeks,for 2 weeks she slept! I can't really blaim her so much due to the fack that she lost her daughter to crib death.So you see she has a hard time letting go. I don't mind waiting for the last kid to hit 18 but she wants us to be friends till then and hopes I'll get "a girlfriend" in the mean time. FOR WHAT? TO HOLD ME OVER TILL DINNER. Maybe it's just me, but Am I the only one in love here or is this women's logic? help!! I don't do good alone; It's not good for me to be alone.I do love her ,truely love her.

I don't know where you are in transition, but I think that we need to be kind and gentle with ourselves. I am only 3 months post-op and have lived full-time for a little over 2 years. I have a similar story, I have a friend who is the only man that I have been intimate with (one weekend about a year ago). I thought I could keep it in perspective, but I couldn't. I no longer have a friend relationship, but I can not be his lover.<br />
btw; the weekend was great but there was a price to pay. Only you can make the right decision.

Girl.. I have to say im in somewhat of a similar situation- talking again to a man I am sooo in love with after three years I cannot see straight.. he was married when we were togehter. (im an idiot, I know but what sins wont we commit for true love...) this itme im with someone else.. and he wants to take things slow- but tells me how much he misses me and remembers the scent of my hair.. oh they do that!!!! Suck you in.. Evil? NO.. Just as needful and confused and lost in the world as we are girlfriend!!! sit and figure out what your head and your heart is telling you.. then follow the heart path.. if not.. it will haunt you forever.. <br />
remember your head remembers the pain, the love in your heart teaches us to forgive!!! Follow the heart!! It wil lead you where you are meant to be! one word.. KARMA. :) Peace Out!!!

if you're really interested in the ending to the story...i posted another story called "the end of my unrequited love story". it's actually a really good ending....even though i would have never anticipated it!!!<br />
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thanks for reading and commenting!!<br />
xo

wow whathappened?

Sometimes people do not respond the way they wish they had responded and sometimes one wonders how many other things caused the person's reaction. Don't people deserve second chances?

I'm afraid I have to agree with blueeyedbabe on this one... If you don't see him on the weekend, you will always be wondering what might have happened, how would I have felt, and Do I really Love him??? It's hard to make this kind of choice, but it sure seems like you think the world of him. I say give it a shot, just to ease your own mind, and hopefully it won't be so confusing for you. I know I'd do it!

This is just one woman's opinion, but I would have been more casual about it and agreed to see him. I know how that kind of situation that your in feels, its very difficult.

i know how it feels when u r in a confused emotions and situations. but TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. they will tell you what is right for u and what is wrong.

first, men are evil! Just kidding. With my ex, we stayed friends for a while after things didn't work out. I gave him chance after chance, with the relationship and then with the friendship. In the back of my mind I was going he's going to do the same **** again, but I tried to ignore it, give him the benefit of the doubt, but he always wound up dissapointing me again. If you really feel like it's a bad idea to see him, go with that feeling. Trust your gut.<br />
YOu may be mad at yourself for not giving him another chance, but you would be even madder at yourself if you did and he hurt you again. I've been there. A side note here, people should never be mad at themselves for what some one else did to them, but it happens, human nature I guess.:)<br />
If you finally have been able to put everything behimd you, leave it behind you. No reason to open up old wounds.

Why not just give him another chance, at least if you do you won't be hating yourself for never knowing, and if he does leave you hanging again... distance yourself from him and don't give him another cahnce again... forgive him but dont set up for disaster!!! Make alternate plans incase he doesn't show, but don't make yourself believe he's evil!!! Nobody is evil... they just make wrong choices!!!

Please keep us updated. I am really interested to see if there is a fate behind all this or not. If you CAN choose or not.<br />
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Take care.