I'm Officially An Idiot

Not because I did the design for the guy but because I'm just RETARDED enough to have REALLY believed that he wanted to see me.  Friday has come and gone and he never called.  I sent him an e-mail late Thursday night (at 1 a.m.) telling him that I was onto him...that I knew he was just using me but, I didn't mind helping with his music...that we didn't need to see each other and to just forget about all the love and hugs and inspiration bullshit he was talking about.  I'll help him from the sincerity of my own heart, not because he makes me feel wanted.  I mean, honest and truly, THAT'S what unconditional love is really all about.  Maybe this is one of the "lessons" I'm supposed to learn from him; one of the great "gifts" of knowing him.  It's humiliating, knowing that he doesn't feel the same way about me but, it doesn't change the fact that I value him, as a person, regardless of what role he plays in my life.  So, I'll continue to help him when he asks.  But, there's no reason for us to see each other. There's no reason for him to be whispering "sweet nothing's" in my ear through the telephone.

He never read the e-mail.  AND he never called.  So, next time I'll just have to know automatically, that he's completely full of ****.  I hope he does something with his music.  If he's committed enough, I'm SURE he has the talent to make a HUGE contribution to the music bank of the world.  I'm SURE he's talented enough to bust into the industry.  So, I'll help him, if he asks for help.  But, I'll NEVER be a big enough IDIOT to EVER believe that he actually gives any kind fo CRAP about me.


MysticWriter MysticWriter
36-40, F
4 Responses Sep 23, 2006

Has he made it big in the music world yet?

This dude won't DO anything with anything, he's just a manipulator, not even sincere enough to answer your contacts. Forget him and don't go for his type unless you enjoy feeling this way, go for NICE guys!

good for y ou------------you need to stay completely away from him......... don't waste your time.

I understand this, as inexperienced as I am. I know what it's like to help out a guy when he asks, and have him technically "hit on you" and flirt with you all the while, leading you on and giving signs he likes you. It just seems like a natural ending to a sad story that they, of course, deny the whole thing and actually have no interest. All we can really do is heal ourselves, and find someone who will enjoy our companionship as much as we enjoy theirs. I guess this is where that corny "what doesn't kill us makes us stronger" saying comes in.