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So Close, Yet So Far

I loved someone that didn't love me.  To this day, I love him still.  It is a love that will never be recognized by either of us.  He is a former teacher, and I am his former student.  I know he'll never see me as anything aside from that.  It was during high school that I met the man of my dreams.  Dark brown hair, deep, warm brown eyes that just sucked me in and made me melt.  When he switched to spanish mode....oh man.  I was done for.  He is the reason I am bilingual today.  He made learning so much fun.  I couldn't keep my mind off of him.

Even now, I sit here and think about him.  My friend and I wish that we had a time machine so we could go back and influence certain events so that I can have my spanish teacher, and he can have his teacher crush.  Every relationship I've had has failed.  They've failed because I keep trying to find a man just like him.  I am looking for my former spanish teacher in every guy I find.  It would be my dream come true if he said he was in love with me and wanted to marry me.  

I know I sound hopeless.  But he is the reason I only want older men.  He's only like 12 years older than me.  I know that my love for him is real, and it will never die.  Only a few of my friends know the depth of my feelings for my spanish teacher.  What was a real blow is when my spanish teacher got married.  His bride....looked like a slightly taller version of me.  She looked like she was me 10 years in to the future.  I still wish that he would've taken me across his desk and made love to me.  My life would be complete if I make love to him.

AlexandraGoren AlexandraGoren 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 9, 2009

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did u ever tell that u loved him????

This is sad I hope you meet one like him one day!