So Close, Yet So Far
I loved someone that didn't love me. To this day, I love him still. It is a love that will never be recognized by either of us. He is a former teacher, and I am his former student. I know he'll never see me as anything aside from that. It was during high school that I met the man of my dreams. Dark brown hair, deep, warm brown eyes that just sucked me in and made me melt. When he switched to spanish mode....oh man. I was done for. He is the reason I am bilingual today. He made learning so much fun. I couldn't keep my mind off of him.
Even now, I sit here and think about him. My friend and I wish that we had a time machine so we could go back and influence certain events so that I can have my spanish teacher, and he can have his teacher crush. Every relationship I've had has failed. They've failed because I keep trying to find a man just like him. I am looking for my former spanish teacher in every guy I find. It would be my dream come true if he said he was in love with me and wanted to marry me.
I know I sound hopeless. But he is the reason I only want older men. He's only like 12 years older than me. I know that my love for him is real, and it will never die. Only a few of my friends know the depth of my feelings for my spanish teacher. What was a real blow is when my spanish teacher got married. His bride....looked like a slightly taller version of me. She looked like she was me 10 years in to the future. I still wish that he would've taken me across his desk and made love to me. My life would be complete if I make love to him.