I I love her but she didn't love me back. I think of her consistently and not just when I'm lonely, even when I'm busy midday. I try my best to stop or hinder how I feel, but I can't and it makes me feel weak.

What hurts the most is I know she used me because she knew I cared about her. I know it made her feel flattered that she had someone who loved her, and she was in the power position, because she didn't feel as strongly towards me.

I feel I should hate her for abusing me, but I don't. I cut her off, but she sometimes tries to contact me and get in touch, which tortures me, because each time she does, it takes so much of me not to run back to her.

Every once and a while I feel that I'm getting better and getting over her, but then it suddenly comes back to me. I even try to date other women, but it doesn't feel the same. She's the only one my heart wants no matter how much my mind tries to fight it.

I just wish she cared and wanted me as much as I did for here. Sometimes I think she does or did, but she's too scared to open up. But that's just a lie I guess I tell myself to keep hope alive.

I know I have to continue my life without her and cut her off, even if it kills me. But I can't see my life without her around me.

I'm so broken . I wish she just gave loving me a chance. But I guess maybe I'm not worthy of love.
LostHaze LostHaze
26-30, M
2 Responses Apr 20, 2016

dont give up......just keep on going

love is the only way to know each others.....Good luck

You are worthy of love. You are worthy of perfect, whole, unconditional, supportive, affectionate, caring and immense love. Never let yourself believe even for a MOMENT that that is not true. Just because the girl who caught your heart's eye does not know how to love you properly does not mean you dont deserve real love. She was lucky to have someone feel so deeply for her and be willing to show it. You will heal. It is not your fault.