Some Things Will Never Fade Away

I lost my virginity to a man I was wildly in love with. Even at the time, I realized he didn't care for me in the same way but I was so far gone at that point it didn't matter to me. I had his attention, that was all that mattered. After our brief interlude was over he cut off all contact with me.  This launched me into one of the greatest depressions of my life when I realized it was really over, and not only was it over, it really never began. Looking back I can't believe how foolish I was. This man is a homosexual yet knew he could jerk me around so he chose to have sex with me, a woman, just to do it. Just to see how it felt to screw over someone he didn't care about. Some days - no, most days I really miss him. My love for him was real. It's just a shame his wasn't. Unfortunately, I know I'll love him my entire life, and I will think about him all the time.

scarling scarling
18-21, F
Feb 12, 2010