I Can Not Bear The Thought Of Him Not In My Life

I thought I had found the man of my dreams. At first he was so caring and wonderful but then I wanted comittment from him, he changed. He would not go out with me because he did not want a relationship we still began to see each other casually. As time went by I fell for him. He would only want to know me when he wanted something from me. He never got to know the real me. Then he dropped me for good and now has a gf. She seems so great and has a great career. He is so good to her and never was to me. I don't know what was so wrong with me. I love him and he is with someone else, it kills me and he knows it. He said its best if we have nothing to do with each other now all I feel is heartbroken and I can't seem to let go of this. She seems so much better than me and they are always together. I don't know what to do...

PinkBeastBaby PinkBeastBaby
22-25, F
3 Responses Feb 19, 2010

When someone backs-off at the first thoughts of making a commitment it’s time to leave. The story is never-ending of the guys who start of in a bed or roses and then for one of the two to find themselves in a bed of thorns; clearly, this is not how it goes in a relationship that is good and proper and meant to be. Another sure sign is that of giving favours; in your case, he didn’t hide what it was he was doing. He wanted to use you and then walk away. Why allow yourself to be treated this way? You ask what is wrong with you, but it isn’t you who is at fault, how can it be you that is wrong in this? If anything, you are hurting yourself over someone who doesn’t want to commit to you but will gladly take favours from you; he was using you at the same time you were falling for him!<br />
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You need to move on. You need to forget both him and his new girlfriend. You need to think of what really was and what really is; and when you look into that, you will realise he used you. Now it’s your time to forget him and move on because you never deserved any of what you felt and continue to feel. Consider that the way you feel bad is because of him; he causes you to feel hurt, you have done nothing wrong! Why are you putting a heavy burden on yourself when he doesn’t care for you?<br />
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Hold your head high and move on!<br />
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~F~

You will fall for alot of guys in your life and I know it hurts not getting the love back, but it is better to find out now then after you marry them. You should be happy for him not bitter because if you did love him you would want him to be happy and this in no way reflects on you it is just as simple as - not everyone is meant to be together. Every relationship is a chance for you to grow as a person so, don't waste time on being sad or asking yourself "why didn't he treat me that way" it just was not meant to be. <br />
you and your soulmate were connected to each other in the beginning - you evolve separately but not completely until you finally come together. So don't try too hard to fill that void it will come to you by the grace of God .Even if you don't believe in him. He believes in you. Rev. Parsons

I know how that goes. It's hard to avoid feelings when you want so badly to win someone's heart