Can Someone Help Me With This?

This is the best category I see fit for this:

To make a long story short, there is this man I really like, and he knows it. He shows and tells me how much he cares, does things for me and more, but yet, he has messages from other females saying stuff like "I miss you in bed last night" and I saw a message that he sent to another female saying (something) like "hey brown sugar you are looking gorgeous as usual." He doesn't say that to me (not that I am looking for attention). I saw these messages by mistake; I was playing with his iphone, so once I saw some things I knew I shouldn't be seeing I gave him his phone back. I mean, I am a very good woman; I have never cheated on a boyfriend, I treat my BFs good, but I don't overdo it and I don't let them take advantage of me. I mean, it seems as if some men prefer a woman with drama, bad attitude, cocky, etc. and treat good women like crap. Don't get me wrong, there are some women out there that treat good men like crap, too, but I don't understand it. These are the same people that b**** and complain about they can find a good man/woman, but when they do, they don't know what to do, so they treat them bad. Man, I am sick and tired of this. Now, in this situation, we are not officially together. I understand he has his life to live, and so do I. Again, if you talk so much about how much you care for me, you may want to be careful about choosing your words. I am not upset about the messages, but I'm upset about all of the big talk. Don't give me a speech like we're in a relationship when we're not. I would rather hear something like "yeah I like you but I'm f***ing around right now." This way I would let you do your thing because obviously you are too busy trying to be a player and not ready for a relationship. I have my flaws as well, and I do personal assessments. I am a very fair woman, so I want to make sure *I* am not doing anything wrong; I don't wanna sound like the innocent person here, and I am not trying to be. I am human. I make mistakes as well. We all do. But man-

MysticLioness MysticLioness
31-35, F
4 Responses Mar 6, 2010

Suncoast, you are right. I really care for this guy, but at the same time I am not limiting myself to him, although it seems like it. If it's meant to me, I will be very happy. If not, I won't be too surprised; this is why I try not to get in too deep. It's just that I haven't came across too many men, but I am still living and doing what I do best-traveling. Thanks for the comment.

UM OBVOUISALLY HE WILL CONTINUE TO DO THIS. IF HE REALLY CARED HE WOULDN'T , HE WOULD BE FOCOUSED ON YOU. YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME LOOK FOR SOMETHING ELSE.

Yes I did let him know I saw them. This is why I gave him back the phone. I told him I saw something I shouldn't have seen, and he asked me what it was. I told him what I saw and he was like "oh OK it's no big deal." Basically just brushed it off like I was one of his guy friends. I have mentioned above that I am not stopping him from doing anything because we are not officially in a relationship; we had this talk already. To answer your last question, chances are I would leave him alone. I am not rushing him into anything and he knows this. It's just that he tells me how much he wants to be with me but he is still out there fooling around-in which, like you said-he has the right to do that; I know this (and vice versa). The only thing with me is, I let him know I am there. He knows I have feelings for him. If we were together and he was doing this yes I would let him go. If you want to be a pla<x>yer/*****, do it without me.

i hate phones!<br />
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maybe if the relationship progresses and you decide to be monogamous he wont send messages like that to other girls. i think that there are alot of people who date several people at the one time, and they have the right to do that, but you have the right to decide that is below your standard.<br />
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did you let him know you saw those messages? <br />
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if you guys talked about it and he admited he was dating/sleeping with other women, would you still be with him anyway?