If Im Not Good Enough For Him Im Not Good Enough For Anyone... =( =[ =(

wow...well um i dont really know how to start this...i dont reallly want to share what i have 2 say what i want to say right now cuz it still hurts.

       i'll just make it short and sweet so i dont waste ur time but basicly whats had happened was in the 5th grade...it was my first day with glasses and his first year in my school..now at first i didnt really care that he was in my class in fact i didnt really pay much attention to him until one day i came to school with my first pair of glasses (they werent ugly or anything they just looked really ugly on me) and i was argueing with one of my friends cause i refused to put them on and i kept bugging her to read stuff for me which eventually stopped when she dragged me to his seat asked "do you think she looks ugly in these glasses" and shoved the glasses on my face. the first thought that came across my head was "holy crap i cant believe this is happening until he looked up to me and was like "no" but in this tone that made me feel soo pretty i know you guys are thinking "he doesnt like why do u care soo much" but after that day we started flirting and everything and it ment alot 2 me cuz i never really got attention from guys like that before but that only until now so give me a break =P lolz. but that kinda all stoped in the midde of 6th grade....honestly to tell you the truth but i just started ignoring him i dont know why and til this day i still regret it but i guess i got scared....scared? idk i just felt confused if that makes any sense to you at all....it probably doesnt i know lol. but yeah later on in march i started liking him again and things went back to normal well...thats what i thought until the last day of 6th grade i decided to tell him that i liked him (mistake of my life!!!) but at the time i was soo shy so i asked one my friends to ask him on the bus since she goes on the same bus as him when she goes home and ring ring...my phone goes off i was soo nervous at that point but of course i pick it up and theres my friend with this tone that sounds like something bad happened and of course u guessed right ....he rejected me. when he got the news from my friend he literally gave her this weird facial expression, rolled his eyes, and looked back out the window.....surprisingly i didnt cry even though im a baby when it comes to these things but yeah the rudness, dirty looks, and eye rollings continues throughout the 7th grade and 8th grade but during the 8th grade (now i know you guys are gonna judge and ask me why do i like this dude still....idk i just love him) me and my best friend wanted to do this thing where the students got to sing or do something entertaining for their lunch per. and she decided to sighn me up so that  i can get over my stage fright fear so that day (performance day) she goes up and sings perfectly and hes clapping and stuff but when it was my time to come he started laughing at me which caused his table to laugh which caused every1 else in the lunch room laugh so i did what any other girl would do and i ran to the bathroom but at first i wasnt embarresed or sad i was just angry i just couldnt believe he would do something sooo mean like that to me for but then it just hit me and before i could even reach the bathroom i just fell to floor and started crying i hated him sooo freaking much that day i mean ive never done anything to him to make him act like this to me i was NEVEERRRR rude to him but he still had the nerve to do that i blame him for my insucurities thats why i hate myself sooo much and i call myself ugly and fat...............................................i still love him though..............but  i cant get over him cause i know that  if im not good enough for him im not good enough for anyone even though i have a boyfriend now i still fell like im never gonna be good enough ........................

sammyheartzu sammyheartzu
13-15, F
3 Responses Mar 8, 2010

No that is that true...he is not good enough for you...he is a piece of crap! Love yourself and ride yourself of him...in time I hope you will see

YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH NEVERE FORGET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALWAYS THINK IT, KNOW IT, NEVER FORGET IT. BE HAPPY ABOUT YOUR LIFE NOW

Being rejected really hurts, believe me, I've been there myself.<br />
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But, if you have a BF now, why should it matter what he thinks before? It doesn't sound like he is interested in you. Or if he is interested in you, he is one of those guys that shows it in a sort of negative way.<br />
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It kinda sounds like, from the start of the story, before you mention your BF, that you are in love with the small things. Easily fall for people. The small gestures that some one gives you or a token of appreciation, i guess you can call it. <br />
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I think the reason you can't get over him, is because he was the first person to acknowledge your glasses and to give you a nice compliment on them. Either with his tone of voice or what he said exactly.<br />
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Doesn't make you a bad person. Shouldn't hate yourself over it. It's who you are. <br />
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Don't dumb down to his level of what is good enough or what isn't. Just be yourself, and he can't accept that, well it's his loss.