I'm Not Sure What Happened Exactly......

If I'm honest the whole thing seems to have been a bit of a blur. it has taken a long period of time but it seems to have gone like a flash.

I started a new job about 18 months ago and that was where I met him. The first time I saw him I knew that something was going to happen, even though I wasn't sure exactly what. I suppose I should mention here that I had a boyfriend of about 18 months so I pushed it all to the back of my mind and just got on with my job. But the more time I spent at work I inevitably spent more time with Him. I don't know if it was wishful thinking but there was definitly a strange kind of understanding between us. He knew I had a boyfriend and didn't make any advances.

We had a work party which I was looking forward to and sure enough he was there. After a few too many drinks something happened and it was like i had been punched in the stomach. I had butterflies and I felt really inadequate. I didn't know what to do. He left the party pretty soon after.

About three weeks later he announced that he was moving away. I felt physically sick when I heard the news and I was so upset, which suprised me. We hadn't spoken properly since that night and both had tried to avoid the other at work. He didn't even say goodbye.

I was pretty moody and withdrawn for months afterwards and I felt empty and lost. I got on with my job, but people were commenting on how unhappy I seemed. I tried to concentrate on my relationship but throughout this time we were arguing a lot. I felt really guilty because my boyfriend just couldn't understand what was happening.

About 6 months passed and I was at another work party. We all went out for drinks afterwards and then someone came up to me and told me that He was back and would be joining our party shortly. I was totally surprised and told everyone I was leaving, I couldn't face seeing him again and going through that time again. He arrived before I could leave and we both saw each other. We locked eyes for a moment before quickly turning away. I left pretty quickly.

He came back to work 2 months later and is now with one of the girls I work with. We don't talk anymore.

I am still with my boyfriend.

CH22 CH22
1 Response Apr 14, 2010

Wow, Thats something I've been attracted to men I've worked with but never acted on it. Thats funny considering what I was put through, but true. I know that had to hurt, I truely hope things get easier for you!