Holding To What I Know Is Love ,true With Me

sometimes i feel like i want to look at another woman other than the one i love,because she has no love for me at this time.i understand that its a natural thing for a man to want a woman, and its nothing new to me , but i've been with many women in my life and i have come to appreciate what real love is and what it means , even tho shes not with me in heart , even tho she doesn't love me , i can't seem to let go of the torch for her , i feel within me my heart crying out for her daily . i know within myself that she is the woman i would always choose , so in my sense of reasoning , i look upon this lonley life i'm living and i have to embrace the love of her ,because its real and true within me ,and i will not deny that.up until now i have refused to let it go , really it does not appear , that i have any way of knowing whether she will ever feel anything for me, but somehow i must have reached a different plateau in life ,before i would have taken a desirable female and enjoyed her pleasure, but now i'm older and love is a very important thing to me, and i feel that i have to be true to my own feelings even if it hurts me to do it, i'am not masochistic, just refuse to just dwell in lustful relationships with no real caring , so i'm trying to hold on in faith in my God and hope that she will come to love me yet. sounds crazy i know, lifes so short , but love has to mean something to us , if we are not willing to suffer for who we love , than its value is nothing.i love this woman, she makes me realize that i can conquer anything thats in my way to get to her if she really wanted me,except her rejection of me ,that defeats me . this story is a continuation of the story ln here on ep known  as "i love a 40 year old black woman and i'am a 63 year old white man.The woman i love is beautiful inside and out , i'am proud of who she is , and how she looks, i don't deserve her , but i adore her and love her with all thats in me.so i love her from afar ,she knows that i care this way, thats the way it is.and so i try to take one day at a time and i;am learning to get better at controlling my emotions , but i always am touched deeply when i think of her.tigerspaw1
tigerspaw1 tigerspaw1
61-65, M
Sep 13, 2012