My Name Is Not Xena But This Is My Herstory

hi let me introduce myself to you and give u a little herstory

i am nearly 37 years old born in texas

i have been lesbian all my life and came out when i was 15

i attended a university on the east coast on a softball scholarship,and met my partner there

i have been with my partner for 24 years and couldnt be happier

i am employed at a reproductive and gender health clinic in calif

i enjoy every sport from hockey to soccer

i work out and run with my partner 6 days a week and when shes out of town on buisness i train by myself

i enjoy dining out and movies

i enjoy ep but i worry that straight people sometimes dont get me

i love to laugh and enjoy a sharp mind

i dont hate men i enjoy thier uniqueness and humor. Im just gay i love women. 

My favorite coffee buddy excluding my partner is male and he always puts a smile on my face no matter what kind of day im having

i love children, and no i dont have any but ive got ll nieces and nephews precious everyone

u can ask me any legitamate question i wont back away or be evasive you deserve honesty and i will give u my truth

i wont speak for every woman or lesbian how could i possibly know what every individual thinks. I even change my mind from time to time

i wont answer questions about my partner she deserves her life and privacy

how we are intimate is not your buisness but i have a bad habit of making jokes or comments about it from time to time.  If this offends you tell me and i ask for your forgiveness in advance

i will not respond to anyone who contacts me for the purposes of self gratification.  Once again ihave a partner and besides thats disgusting and humiliating for me im a adult woman not a play toy

i will add to this as things that i want to share come up

thank you for allowing me to share with you


i have a masters degree in gender studies and studiedfor l year in vancouver canada

xena2 xena2
36-40, F
23 Responses Jun 16, 2011

I'm sorry I have to read this later seems fascinating :)

Nice Jessie! Can you pm me?

Use upper case Is
"Im just gay i love women." I'm*
"i worry that straight people sometimes dont get me. " don't
"thats disgusting" that's*

"i love to laugh and enjoy a sharp mind"

No offence but you are older than me, I can't spell and school is going down hill still, they did not teach me much at all, but I learned to spell a bit better when I got out so that people can tell I have a sharp mind when I write, please re post an edited version this sorry but this one hurt my brain to read.

That cat icon is hypnotizing me!!

Cool, you've been with your partner for 24 years! My sister would be proud of both of you. She only has 18 years but I think it's forever.

Just FYI, I have 2 sisters who are Lesbian and one brother who is Gay and one ex-brother who is now my sister. We never realized that these differences were that important until later in life. I beat up on one sister, my other sister beat up on me and my brother laughed at it all. There are actually 14 of us and we have always stood up for each other and still do. Thankfully, my one sister doesn't beat up on me anymore. That really hurt! Humor served us well.

Your relationship is to be commended.

i have friends that are gay 1 man and 2 women i am on ep to talk and nothing more i have a partner and very happy if you would like to talk just add me

I really enjoyed reading your article. I really respect the fact that you know exactly what you want from the rest of us at EP and I will honor that.

A neighbour & friend, less than a minute's walk from here, is from Vancouver<br />
<br />
1 of the most superb alto singers ever, I've invited her to apply for BBC TV's The Voice 2013, as I have: I'm an ex-pro mimic<br />
<br />
When I lived in Sunny Southport, 1 of my best friends in Sefton Mental Health Support Group, was a fellow singer/guitarist/songwriter in our houseband<br />
<br />
In fact, she invented the band name: Fragile Minds<br />
<br />
The 3rd singer/guitarist/songwriter went on to found PiPs - Philosophy In Pubs - @ Liverpool Uni: it's now UK-wide<br />
<br />
<br />
I've loved, valued & cherished women all my adult life - meaning ever since puberty hit<br />
<br />
Women have a far wider range of conversational topics than men<br />
<br />
& love to go deep into what interests them<br />
<br />
One of my main reasons for joining The Experience Project is to find my ideal soulmate<br />
<br />
Relationship experts recommend max compatibility, so do enjoy checking out my prolific output over the weekend<br />
<br />
& PM me if you're interested in fab fun flirting<br />
<br />
& serious intellectual research, discussion, debate<br />
<br />
& seeing the funny side of life<br />
<br />

hi it is so nice to hear from u thank u so much
it sounds like u have a wonderful life and great friends

Especially @ 2 very lively Pentecostal churches

10.30am is

6pm is

&amp; some Sat events @

Hello Xena2!<br />
Love the name!!! My previous special significant other inherited the same "Xena" name from her Sister-in-law and it stuck, so uses it as her own now... :-) cute!!!<br />
<br />
So happy to hear that you're who you are and for the person that you are... You come across as a very kind and giving person and I appreciate very much your honesty about You!<br />
I wish that we had more warm, kind and honest people like yourself...<br />
Sure we deserve the right to keep our certain personal information to ourselves and you should... Also I agree with the many aspects that you've mentioned... Thank You for opening up and for sharing that which is so special as to the bonds that bind in a relationship... I'm a straight male and have had good friends that were gay/lesbian and I've always admired them for being able to be who they are and for actually being able to make a difference in someone else's lives as I'm sure you are too... May you have much happiness in your life as well as the positive impact that you're creating for others... :-)<br />
Enjoy each and every day! Much hugs! With regards, Khrizz

thank u so much for your kind comments my friend you have a wonderful spirit and obvious intelligence i wish everyone had your capabilities then we could truly enjoy the world and celebrate the differences that make each of us unique have the most most magical life that u deserve and laugh a little and love a little take care and thank u so much

Seems you are a taft woman.<br />
Have a great life for you and your partner :)

It's fantastic that you have been with your partner 24 years. And great that you love working out and running. I run myself and doing the Aids Marathon in Los Angeles in a couple of weeks. Yeah and I get you on some people on EP not getting you. I have recently started adding guys to circle that are straight and they don't get why I'm lesbian I end up just taking out of circle.

hmm thank u so much for your thoughts They take me back and give me a chance to do some self analysis <br />
<br />
I dont hate men at all i very much enjoy thier company and one of my closest friends is a healthy happy hetrosexual I enjoy thier humor and free thinking ways more than a lot of women i know What makes it really great is that we would be after the same thing if i wasnt in a long term relationship. lol<br />
<br />
Most lesbians have dated and been intimate with men with us its not so much gender as it is the bhuman element and most of us have to seek our own truth as to sexuality.. I dated my share of males and enjoyed every expierience In the end i chose women but if things would have been different as it is with some women i may have ended married with children Im sure it wouldnt have been awful or bad Just not the life i wanted and its that way with a lot of lesbians <br />
<br />
If u think about it men are a form of lesbians they want the same thing we do a woman lol and in the main are a lot better hunters lol<br />
<br />
If i was to define u id say u are probably a very caring intelligent sensitve human being and thats why women are attracted to u and i imagine still are Unfortunately your happily married Our loss lol<br />
<br />
I dont know why lesbians are stereotyped as man haters Its true that there are some with issues but typically theyve been victims of sexual abuse or had other violent crimes perpetrated agaist them Others just hate for no dicernable reason<br />
<br />
That being said there are men that have mysoginist views towards women and act on them as well<br />
<br />
In the end we are all human beings with different interests and wants some of them have to do with sexuality but it is a very small part of who we are<br />
<br />
i just got home from word and im probably not being as patent as i should or can be if u wish for more clarity or have other questions please feel free to mssg me anytime and i will respond asap<br />
<br />
again thank u so much<br />
<br />

Jessie,<br />
You seem very open and honest, down to earth easy going. All traits I greatly admire. I am a straight male ( you say you do not hate all men). I'd like to ask you something if you don't mind. Several woman I have dated (years ago now, I am married) later came out as lesbians. Most all of these woman I had intiment serious relations with and was not just dating, etc. What does that say about me??? Does that somehow define me to you??? <br />
Thanks for posting, etc,<br />

I accept you for who and what you are.Women do not get the respect they deserve and this should change.I'm glad to see the respect and loyalty you have with your partner and wish you both the best in healh and happiness.ROCK ON!!!

thank u so much for your comment i appreciate your thoghts very much and wish u all the best life has to offer and ROCK ON your bad self lol


thank you so much for your comments I dont know that i have any better insights into what a persons motivations for doing things are Its people like u and others that post and offer comments that form some of my opinions and inform me and im always grateful for them. Again thank u for sharing

well you are working in gender health clinic, i hope that you have better knowledge than us... its your wish that how you want to live,, as u told that u are having a partner,,go head what u like.. we will with u... good luck!... aakaas

Thank you for the most thoughful comments yet...But then everthing u write is thought provoking and well thought out and i enjoy it immensely Thank you so much

Well written. Time for honesty and fact telling. Gays and lesbians are like anyone else. Some are good people some may not be, but it has nothing to do with what they prefer in a sexual relationship. Thank you for telling it like it is.

thank u so much for your kind anc considered comments They mean a lot to me <br />
<br />
I hope that u get from life everything u wsnt and need<br />
<br />
if u are american enjoy the heck out of the 4th its all about us <br />
<br />
take care and thanx so much for your comments

What a great back story, Xena. It must be a such a great feeling to be so self aware of what you want and who you are. I admire this. Many people will never be able to experience what you have. Treasure it.

As a male it is with some difficulty and awkwardness that I have to agree with you. Not all but far too many men are lazy. They are not willing to work at achieving a goal and believe that it should be theirs for the taking. It's the same in relationships. I have many friends who after work go straight down the local pub before they go home to meet their wives and family. Then they moan because their wife has a go at them for their behaviour and they feel hard done by. For me I believe if you want a wife or partner then want to be with that wife or partner. If you don't then you are better off alone rather than subjecting someone to a one sided relationship. <br />
<br />
I believe that a lot of the social conditioning that puts men above women is to cover for male insecurities. We are emotionally weaker than women and feel a need to hide or shield our self emotionally. Most western religions are male orientated and attempt to exclude or marginalise women. Look back into ancient times and it was the woman who was the high priestess and who all worshiped. Is this progress?

thank u so much for your intelligent and insiteful comments gives me much to think about and process. I think u are right on many points
Again thank u for your thoughts

I'd love to know what you competed in at the olympics. <br />
<br />
In my work overseas i see issues in gender that help me realise how far we've come in the west - still further to go, but damn, the issues in some cultures are disturbing.

k softball its no longer an olympic sport but should be. From what i understand womens hockey is the next to go

I think that the reason for a lot of gender oppresion in less develop countries is the powerlesness of the male and he has to contol something anything so its the women. I guess that gives these males some small sense of worth and meaning, much like the poor disenframchise whites attempt to treat the afro americans.
Shame though so much wasted potentially postitve energy


that is a very insightful comment. It took me a while to realise gender is about two genders. Men who are unable to find a positive role and identity to bring a positive contribution.

so true i love when people offer such great insight in just a few and i thank u for sharing yoor wonderful thoughts with me it is greatly appreciated

A well thought through and written article Xena. I hope that you don't have to suffer from too many intolerant arses in here and that people respect your wish for the anonymity of your partner. Also the obvious sincerity of your statement in that you only speak for yourself and not a wider specific group. Too many people think they have all the answers,you know that is never so.

thank u so much for your kind and sensitive thoughts. The only truth i can speak to is my own . Love your intelligent writing style and hope you will continue to set out your thoughts


Okay, now that we've hugged it out people, there's one thing I'd like to know...

Any truth to the rumor the west coast Kings find it impossible to have great ice because of their collective torrent of fear sweat onto the surface?

No doubt caused by the possibility of facing the indomitable Rangers; Your thought?

I'd like to follow that Doc with; is there no cure on the horizon?

Thanks for the time.

-Great Day to you