Where do I begin??


Well, I've known my sailor for a little over 4 years..

We met at work (I couldn't stand him when I met him)..

Well.. We started dating last year when he came home for leave but when he left he was different and only seemed to be himself when they were out at sea.. We ended the relationship but remained friends..

It's been a year since that and we're both still here for each other, we talk all the time, you could say we still act like we're boyfriend and girlfriend just without the titles.

Since we started dating we had talked about getting married because we both new we wanted to be with each other.. After the break up we didn't mention it.. A couple of months later he brought it up again and he told me he did want to be with me no matter what.

Well, we started dating again in May and that ended soon.. I found out someone was sending him pictures and I felt disrespected and I confronted him about it. He was upset and made me seem like the bad guy. he stopped talking to me soon after that..

He went out to sea a month later and I hadn't talked to him for that month.. I decided to e-mail him and just tell him that I hope he's doing well and to be safe.. (I wasn't expecting to receive and e-mail.. I did)

After I received the e-mail from him I couldn't help but smile..

He wrote me about a 2 page e-mail telling me he was sorry for what he had done (he never apologizes for what he does, he's HARD HEADED) and that he does want to be with me but he just did something very stupid and he would understand if I didn't want anything to do with him..

Of course, I was excited to see that he e-mailed me and apoligized.

I wrote him back and gave him my thoughts..

Since this is long i'll cut it short and get to my main question..


He's supposed to be coming home in December and we have said that whenever he went on leave we would want to get married.

So, I want to talk to him when he comes home and give him an ultimatum ..

We have a serious talk and lay everything out on the table and get married even if I can't live overseas or not get married and I end this relationship once and for all.

I've waited a year for him.. going on 2.. As much as I want to wait for him I can't keep doing this to myself...


I just don't know if my ultimatum is a good decision or what?!

Help me ladies!

I know this was a loooong post, I just needed to let it out.

sailaway48 sailaway48
1 Response Jul 12, 2011

You don't want a marriage that you had to give an ultimatum to get. You can still give the ultimatum anyway, but then you would question the marriage always. Did he really want to marry you or did he just do it because you gave him an ultimatum?