I Hurt So Bad Right Now

So here's a little insight into my life. My ex husband and I separated almost 3 yrs ago. We lived different lives. I was a stay at home Mom too 3 beautiful daughters that are now 13,16,19. I was at every ones beck and call for those 10 yrs which I do not regret doing anything I had to do know matter what to keep my girls safe, happy and secure. I did everything alone with them from vacations, traveling for figure skating all over the east coast, dance lessons, piano lessons, and everything else they wanted or even needed. Yes I spoiled my girls, because I had the money to do so. We lived in a beautiful house gad a new car every 2 yrs. Everyone thought I had the perfect life, but did't see behind closed doors how unhappy I was and not with my girls. So after they were old enough to understand I told my ex it was over. So we were left with basically nothing and I knew I was taking that chance and did it. During the separation I had frequent flair-ups with my MS and my girls helped me. I soon met a guy I THOUGH was the one to make me happy we lived together for 10 months. Little did I know he was an alcoholic and I took care of his 2 boys and my 3 girls and worked while he drank. Then the beatings started and I knew it was time to go. Where I didn't know, but came to an even worse decision to move into my so called parents apartment. I lived in filt that we where not use to, but I had no choice. They bled me dry money wise for everything. Then I fell into a depression my girls wanted to leave and I didn't know where to go. So one day at work my oldest calls me and says Mom we have had enough we are leaving I'm packing and meet us after work at MY sister house. Little did I know my so called parents where filling my 16 yr olds head with your mom's not working she's out sleeping with men. I was at work I worked grave shift. So they started buying her things I couldn't give her and playing with her mind so much that she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore :(. I would call her text her beg for her to come with me and at this time I was on 2ND shift. Mother's day last yr I got text from her reading I'm done with you I want nothing to do with you. That hurt so bad to think I raised her and they basically took over her mind. So November this year I get a letter to appear in court so my crazy STEP-sister can have legal guardian ship of her. I could not afford an Attorney so went myself and was told without one I have no say she's 16. I lost that battle. Fell into suck a depression I tried committing suicide till my sisters and older daughter intervened and got me in a hospital. Through the whole time before I suffered major anxiety and panic attacks due to nasty messages from my step-mother while I was at work. It finally got  to the point the would have me leave and go home. One because of this and 2ND I was over medicated and looked like and acted like I wasn't even there. My co-workers and supervisors tried helping me and it finally took that one night that everything just hit me at once and wanted to end it all. In that aspect the anxiety and panic and depression started to get better. Now I'm dealing with them taking 1/2 m paycheck plus my ex husbands for child support. Today I find out they want some of my disability money I get also. I'm so distraught now that I have every intention in the world to do what ever I can to make them suffer like they are doing to me and I don't mean Physically I mean financially and emotionally. Every secret I have kept I will no longer keep like the fact my father tried molesting me when I was young and he cheats on his wife and other things. Like my Step-sister who committed perjury in court. I believe in Karma and I believe I'm the one that will deliver it to them all for the hurt they have and still are causing me.