I realize that some consider bi-curious or even bi-sexual as a cop-out, but I feel it is accurate. I haven't had a male-male encounter as an adult, so I can't say for sure that I am bi. I experimented with by best childhood friend when I was 10 or 11, and was horrified when he mentioned it to some of our other friends. This was back in the mid '80s when the stigma attached to homosexuality was even greater than it is today. I felt terribly betrayed, and the activities between us came to an abrupt halt. This was at an age when admitting to ************ would get you ostracized by your friends, and a time when gay bashing was something of a national sport. Combined with my Roman Catholic upbringing, all of those thoughts and feelings got pushed way down. Thankfully, I really liked girls as well, so I could at least be halfway honest with myself and others and find meaningful relationships as I got older.

It was only recently that I was even able to reveal my true feelings to anyone. The first person I talked to about it was my wife and even that was a gradual process. At first I was only able to tell her about my experiences from when I was younger, in the context of the possibility of a future MMF encounter and what activities I would be comfortable with. This was the first time I had revealed to anyone in over 25 years that I had previously had a penis in my mouth and was pretty okay with the experience. It took many more months and some soul searching before I was able to admit that not only was I okay with it, but I'd kind of like to try it again, regardless of whether or not she was present. There are plenty of things I would like to try with her present. Sharing a ****, sucking a **** that was covered in her juices, licking her **** as well as the shaft and balls of a guy while she was being pounded. But I would also like to find a guy that I connect with emotionally and be intimate with him.

I love my wife. She is beautiful and wonderful and I am lucky to have her as a life partner. I love women. I love their curves, the softness of their skin, and every beautiful inch of their anatomy. I can't imagine ever not wanting to cuddle and touch a woman. But now I want more. I want to feel a **** other than my own growing hard in my hand. The texture of its head on my lips, run my tongue over it and feel the difference between the head and shaft. Do all of the wonderful things to it that I have enjoyed having happen to me. Until that happens and I know my reactions, I won't know for sure if I am actually bi. But I really want to find out, and soon. It was a relief to reveal these feelings to my wife, and is an even greater relief to put them out where more people can read about them. This has been weighing heavily on my mind for a long time, and I am grateful to have found a community where such feelings are acceptable.
chersoumis chersoumis
2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

We are all born bi-sexual so just try to enjoy!

Wow I am astounded that I see no replies to this but I'm new so not sure how everything quite works. But I can definitely relate to your feelings. Hopefully your wife is truly understands and is ok with your feelings.