My original post is under appeal. I have edited it down in hopes of not having it automatically deleted.

I realize that some consider bi-curious or even bi-sexual as a cop-out, but I feel it is accurate. I experimented with by best friend when I was years ago, and was horrified when he mentioned it to some of our other friends. This was back in the mid '80s when the stigma attached to homosexuality was even greater than it is today. I felt terribly betrayed, and the activities between us came to an abrupt halt. This was at an age when admitting to ************ would get you ostracized by your friends, and a time when gay bashing was something of a national sport. Combined with my Roman Catholic upbringing, all of those thoughts and feelings got pushed way down. Thankfully, I really liked girls as well, so I could at least be halfway honest with myself and others and find meaningful relationships.
It was only recently that I was even able to reveal my true feelings to anyone. The first person I talked to about it was my wife and even that was a gradual process. At first I was only able to tell her about my experiences from when I was younger, and in the context of the possibility of a future MMF encounter in the future as far as what I was comfortable with. This was the first time I had revealed to anyone in over 25 years that I had previously had sexual contact with a guy and was pretty okay with the experience. It took many more months and some soul searching before I was able to admit that not only was I okay with it, but I'd kind of like to try it again, regardless of whether or not she was present.
I love my wife. She is beautiful and wonderful and I am lucky to have her as a life partner. I love women. I love their curves, the softness of their skin, and every beautiful inch of their anatomy. I can't imagine ever not wanting to cuddle and touch a woman. But now I want more. Until that happens and I know my reactions, I won't know for sure if I am actually bi. But I really want to find out, and soon. It was a relief to reveal these feelings to my wife, and is an even greater relief to put them out where more people can read about them. This has been weighing heavily on my mind for a long time, and I am grateful to have found a community where such feelings are acceptable.
chersoumis chersoumis
41-45
3 Responses Sep 1, 2014

Good for you. This is a personal observation only but to me bisexual people seem to have better understanding of people. I know of eight or ten bisexuals and none of them have half the drama heterosexuals seem to have. btw i am bi

it's a great feeling to get this off ur chest, isn't it :) i got similar feelings to deal with & i find this website great to share my feelings every1 is usually very supportive. plus u got an understanding wife. i grew up in kinda the same environment, ************ was wrong in the church, still is :( among friends it was an admission ur not able to get laid & ur touching same sex genitals so it's gay even if it's ur own. not to mention the stigma of homosexuality. i also get ur point on women, they are pretty hot :) is ur wife ok with u exploring this with another guy? even if she is it might not be a good idea. remember ur bringing in some1 else intimately into ur life. it might hurt what u allready got intimately with ur wife. u have gotta decide if exploring uself like this is worth ne risk to ur marriage. maybe ur wife's love is all u will ever need to deal with ne of ur remaining curiosities.

It is good to get the feelings out. I wish I could shout it from the rooftops, but for now I'm only open when I am dealing with people who I know will accept it. My wife is not only okay with this, she encourages me to explore these feelings. Our relationship is no longer strictly monogamous, although it isn't a completely open marriage, nor are we swingers. We are polyamorous, which for us means we love each other but don't believe that rules out either of us loving others. Much in the way that we didn't stop loving our first child when our second one was born. We are both selective about who we will get involved with, and it isn't just a sex thing. The other guy she is currently seeing is someone she truly has feelings for. I have met him and we get along. We have had a couple of **********, but she also has her time with just him. I had a lady that I was getting close to, but unfortunately work and geography put an end to that before it progressed too far. The important thing is, neither of us were just looking for a hookup. We started talking to people and feelings developed. The other important thing is that we are honest with each other about it. We love each other and don't want to ruin our marriage, and I think that being poly has actually helped it. The amount of trust and communication needed to make things work is huge. Sorry, I've started to ramble. Short answer is yes, my wife knows, she is fine with the idea, and our marriage will survive me finding someone to play with.

that is great to hear :) i know being poly is a challenge especially in this world where every1 assumes monogomy but i know for some people it just works. i also understand it's much more than just hooking up. so go ahead & see what the right guy has to offer u :)

Great story Add me please. ;)