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Please Don't Kick Me While I'm Down...i Can't Take Much More....

It’s easy to say that what people comment about you doesn’t effect you…for a long time I didn’t care about what people think of me…and to some extent…I still don’t…but things have changed in me…

I’m suffering from depression…I know fascinating story right?….but the thing is…when your down like I am…the smallest things get to you like never before…

I guess the best way to word what I mean is imagine your feelings as healthy skin…when you become depressed it’s like your constantly scraping that skin…slowly wearing it down…when you get down to the blood your getting to the person’s lowest point…if you get to the bone the person is at rock bottom…

I’m pretty close to the bone myself…things that I would just brush off before…get to me more than anyone I know realizes…I can’t help it…after being kicked while I’m down for so long…you stop blocking the hits…because your getting to the point you can’t take it even if you have the energy to block it or the will to even care that much…

When someone gets to me…I can’t help it…it could be as simple as a joking comment of “your so stupid sometimes”……like I said…when your down…everything can and sometimes does hurt…

You fight so hard to get back up…but then you get to a point when you don’t really care and your just waiting for it all to be over….

……..If only they all understood……
yamihirugashi yamihirugashi 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 16, 2011

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I don't know how long you've been down, but being there long term (over a year) can be the result of a chemical imbalance in your body. It could have started with a blue mood that just didn't go away. I don't know how your friends are, but I do hope they are supporting you in any way possible. Try a change of scenery. Try taking up a new hobby. Do something that you always wanted to do, but made excuses for in the past. If your mood doesn't improve, you should get some professional help. Being down for too long can be serious and affect all aspects of your life. There are people who do care.