I will try to keep this as short as possible. I'm hoping you can help/advise me asap as I feel I am losing the love of my life.

One month ago, I went to see my fiancé at her place (she still lives with her parents) in the early evening to catch up etc. She appeared to be quiet & snappy with me after a few hours of being in her company which I put down to her long week at work.

As the evening went on I asked her if she was ok to which she said that she was fine. Later on I asked her again & she snapped that if there was something wrong she would tell me - fair enough!

She didn't want dinner so I ordered a take-away for myself. When it arrived I was eating in the garden as it was sunny (she was sat next to me sunbathing) & then she went inside as she said she was too hot.

I followed inside 5mins later & sat downstairs. She had disappeared upstairs & around 20mins after I finished my dinner I went up to see if she was ok, she appeared ok but looked moody. So I went back downstairs to sit with her parents (giving her space - sensing her mood.) She later came down & we all watched tv.

As the night went on she was snapping at her mum for the most minor of things & was getting a bit sarcastic - becoming rather nasty. Her mum did say to her to stop swearing etc. Throughout the tv watching she barely said anything to me.
Shortly after her parents decided to go to bed so they went & turned the light off leaving the tv on for us. 20mins went on & I tried to make small talk with her which resulted in one worded responses.

At this point I'd had enough so I said to her that I was going home & not to contact me until she had snapped out of this horrible mood. She then grabbed my arm & said "don't leave me" so I said I'm not leaving you, I'm just leaving the situation.

She then said that her gran was unwell & that she felt she was the only one looking after her. She then accused me of saying that I like a picture of a famous woman on facebook. WTF!

Now the scary part.

So I took a deep breath & stood up, & as I turned round (she must have shot up) & I felt both her hands round my neck pressing really tightly & this look of madness in her eyes. I found myself doing the same to her (to try and free myself.) This was the first time we have ever had a physical confrontation or even argument in the 2yrs we've been together (it has always been a honest, loyal & happy relationship.)

I pushed her onto the couch & I stumbled forward slightly, I then stumbled back by which point she leapt up, jumped on & sat on me & started choking me again. There was no speaking throughout this scuffle.

I was shocked & scared at this then suddenly her mum & dad came running downstairs panicking wondering what was going on. Her mum tried to pull her off (with some force as my fiancé is strong for a woman.) I then remember lashing out shouting "get off me" as she was pulled away with a struggle from her mum.

As she got up her dad switched the light on & my fiancés nose was bleeding so she ran for a towel then stormed over to me & slammed the engagement ring into my hand & said get out this house before pushing me outside. I apologised & said I didn't realise I had punched her (especially to her face) as I couldn't see exactly where I was 'aiming' because it was pitch black but she said get out so I did & went home.

I phoned my parents explaining what had happened & they said not to phone her that night as it will make things worse. So I waited until the next day before phoning her but she ignored my call, I left a message & she texted me to say I could meet her that evening outside. We talked & I apologised profusely & she said she could forgive me for the struggle but not for the punch & that she wanted space for a few days with no contact.

Basically I want to know if there is anyway I can get my fiancé back as I truly love her, don't want to lose her especially of this & she said she still loves & cares for me (when I met her the following day?)

I am not a violent person & have never hit a woman before but this was a genuine accident. I have told her I will seek counselling for my 'anger' hoping this will help & she said she was pleased to hear this.

I hope you can help me here as I'm so depressed & miserable right now & this was just a silly incident that got out of hand.

Many thanks
Depressed20 Depressed20
26-30, M
1 Response Aug 24, 2014

Get counseling asap. That behavior is not ok and it is not normal. Maybe she just snapped but even then this needs to be resolved so it doesn't happen again.