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I'm Not Sure If It's Good Enough Though....

   For most people I don't think it is. There is so much inside me that wants to come out again, but everytime I try, someone tries to "change" it a little to make it "better". So I stopped showing bits of me. I just don't seem to be good enough, I always have to be "better".

   I guess I'm getting tired of trying now. I mean if I can't even be "me" in peace, how am I suppose to ever be "better"? It doesn't make sense to me, but then I'm a bit "slow". I don't catch on to things very well & I tend to forget stuff that I should remember. It just doesn't feel like it's worth the effort anymore..... Especially if it's never good enough for the rest of the world.

   I mean, I tried for years. I tried to "better myself". I did things the way others wanted them done because it was just the way they wanted it. I don't like to fight, so I'd give in & do it "their" way. I mean it wasn't that big a deal, at first.... But somewhere along the way, "I" became obsolete. I no longer mattered to "me". It was what "society" wanted, or my "family" wanted. I almost ceased to exist as my own person. Now, I realize it but find that I'm repeating old patterns because it just seems like such an useless struggle. Why should I be a lesser "me" if it's only going to make everyone else think less of me or feel that I'm not a good enough? If I'm "me" but I still end up alone, what good is that going to do me? I wasn't made to be alone....... Call me weak, I really don't care, that's the true "ME" & I don't want to have to apologize for it anymore.

 

  WynHaven

deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jun 13, 2009

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WOW! You are a beautiful person with some beautiful writing. You gave up yourself for your family. I didn't give myself up, instead I lost it

You are a giver. It does drain you. Like gasoline in a car has to be refilled or it will stop wherever it runs out. Here's a gallon of "Thank You" for just being who you are.

They can c kitties and pics and i cant?:(

you are perfect as you are wyn..

You are ok Wyn- you just have to learn to please you!

Aw, ((hugs)) Wyn. You're alright with me.



..and how DO you get all those moving images in stories?? The kitty is very cute. :)

I love the Kitty Pic !



So Cute :D