Me....that's All!!

I know that I'm not an easy person to live with....I expect a lot from my partner.  I am really a big ball of contradictions!!  A Christian who smokes pot, an open lover who insists on fidelity...etc.  I'm just trying to feel my way through this life with the most happiness I can find, while doing the least damage possible to everyone else. For many years, I ignorred this about myself and was completely miserable , despite having a life that many would envy...I cannot do that anymore.....I cannot deny who I am....all I can do is to try to know myself and to live and love to the best of my ability.

lonesurvivor lonesurvivor
56-60, F
6 Responses Jul 23, 2009

Thank you for a very candid post.A true Christian does not condemn others for being different and having different beliefs.You seem such a Christian to me.And a true Christian does not baulk at behaving like a human being.

Thank you so much for your means more than you know.<br />
<br />
(I feel very lucky to still have both my parents, sorry for your loss ((((((((((smoked))))))))))

My Dad always told me Nobody's Perfect Nobody is without Pain or Sadness in their life but if you find something good in yourself & Something your really good at & People love you for it ..Hone It Perfect it, master it & be loved for it even more!! Miss You Dad :(

Indeed...and thanks michellewhois!!!!! I've known for quite some time that I was not happy, despite my "seemingly" having everything I wanted. I just always thought that I was lacking in some way, and could fix it if I just tryed hard enough.....I always found myself struggling to come to terms with my desires and feelings..ALWAYS!! That's no way to live!! Life's too ****** short!! It really hurt to fail at 2 marriages, but I just have to go for what I want and need , now. Thank God for EP , and for my Bruce!!!<br />
<br />
Penny Webb ;-)<br />

Congrats on the epiphany that help you see that you are you and that all you need to be. I wish you much happiness in your life as you realize that life can be a contradiction in terms but can also be satisfying to the soul.

Vortex, as usual, you support me , knowing full well my circumstances and faults. Thanks sooooo much for being the true friend you are!!!!!!!!!!!!<br />
<br />
Penny Webb ;-)