Short Funnies But I'm Just Sayin'


Never date a guy who looks better in your clothes than you do!

 


You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams

 


Says 99% of women say they don't like men who wear leather pants. Which works out perfectly, since 100% of men who wear leather pants don't like Women.

 


You know you're getting fat when you sit in your bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.!

 


I bought a new GPS system...with a chinese accent, i nearly crashed the car when it told me to turn reft at the rights

 


You know you're getting old when your year of birth is no longer immediately visible in drop-down menus and you have to start scrolling down

 


I bought a packet of animal crackers and it said on it, 'Do not eat if seal is broken'. So i opened it up and sure enough...

 


went on a blind date once. Their name was .::::....::::.:.:

 


I Crashed Into The Back Of A Dwarfs Car Yesterday. he Got Out And Said he Wasn't Happy. So I Said Which One Are You Then?

 


has just realized why Mexico are serial under-performers in the Olympic Games. Every Mexican that can either run, jump or swim has already made it to the States!!

 


panicked when he saw two eyes in his chow mein ......then realized it was a peking duck
3in1try 3in1try
36-40, F
Mar 4, 2010