Prince Charming....No One Ever Told Me the C was SILENT.

For 22 years, I lived a good life. I had two beautiful children, a nice home, built a successful career doing what I've had a passion for since childhood. I was the envy of all my gal pals. Oh, the times I've heard, "I wish my husband was like Charlie." It is a common occurrence to be approach in a store or restaurant by women and have them say how much they just love my Charlie. A few times, some have said, "You are so lucky to have a husband like Charlie."

For years, 22 to be exact, affirmations such as these helped me to combat the acidic oozing that would attempt to seep into my consciousness whenever Charlie and I were alone, or when I'd catch a glimpse of the emptiness in his eyes as he very patiently listened to whatever concern I was sharing with him. Guilt would quickly shutdown such disrespectful thoughts.. How could I think such terrible thoughts about such a wonderful, charming man? The only rational thing to do is accept the belief that my perception was impaired. That I cause his inability to communicate with me and need to work harder to provide a safe, loving, satisfying environment for him. I needed to change.

My gut, my soul, has felt every blow, but my mind, I suppose to survive, has denied, rationalized, and/or accepted responsibility for each incidence of indifference, irresponsibility, lack of empathy, silence, etc....

It has to be me. Certainly all these women; his mother, his acquaintances (no friendships, only surface relationships. work; church; neighbors), his children, his WIFE couldn't have been this disillusioned for this long. The signs have been there all along. No way could we have all missed them, especially not his wife of 22 years. Surely this strong, passionate, loving, common sensical, intelligent woman who knew everything about him, slept in the same bed with him, shared her most intimate, private hopes and fears with him, would have seen the signs.

How the impossible becomes possible....

Covert narcissism is undoubtedly the most damaging form and also the most under-cover form of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and many victims go decades without consciously realizing what it is that's being done to them.

The emotional and mental abuse that a narcissist inflicts on their victim is based on the power of subtle suggestion. The power of suggestion is one of the most powerful psychological tools known to man and should never ever be underestimated.

The narcissist presents to their victim, usually their relationship partner, a false self made up of a collection of simple and subtle pathological lies. Lies which make them seem angelic and builds them a reputation of being 'as good as gold' and 'would never do anything to hurt anyone'.

The lies go on and build up over the years pulling the wool over the victim's eyes leaving them blind to the narcissist's true hidden self. Money, friends, finances, identification, thoughts and emotions are all stolen from the victim leaving them in a position with no resources to leave and no-one to turn to for help.

Literally every little thing that happens gets twisted back round onto the victim and they are left scratching their head with wonder thinking 'is it me?' and never quite realizing how the narcissist manipulated them into that situation.

lifeonNars89 lifeonNars89
41-45, F
1 Response Jan 18, 2013

Yes, just found out that my husband is a covert narcissist