I Know It's WrongMy husband and I have been married a little over 3 years, together for 5. I put up with a lot for him, he was very immature when we started dating, but we had been friends for a year before we dated, so I thought he would grow up. He would drink a lot and him and his brother were addicted to pain pills for a lot, which I over looked and before we got married he stopped abusing drugs. He always made me feel that I wasn't good enough, that no one else would want me, sometimes I'm not sure why I married him. I had gained some weight after some stressful times and he would tell me I needed to lose weight and exercise and why was I eating this and that. He would always comment on other girls and make me feel horrible about myself. I made a change in my life and lost a good deal of weight and got healthy, but he would always still act like it wasn't good enough, my stomach wasn't flat enough or something like that. He is also very selfish, it's his way or no way and he is very much the wife needs to cook and clean and feed me sort of guy.
We bought a house in february, he was always complaining he was in a bad mood because he was bored, and if he had yard work and things to do he would be much happier. We bought a house in the country on an acre because that's what he wanted, I would have been much happier in a neighborhood, but I liked the house itself, so compromised and moved out further. He rarely does anything around the house or yard work since we moved in.
3 weeks after we moved in we had some septic issues and had to call the investment company who sold us the house, they sent some plumbers over to look at it and fix the issue. It took 2 days to fix, and I had to handle everything as usual, while my husband went fishing with his friends after work. I became close with one of the guys who worked on my house and we got along well. He called me the next day after they finished the work to make sure everything was ok and they wound up calling me back later and asking if I would like to join him for lunch the following day. I said yes, even though I know I should have said no, because I found him attractive and he had told me he found me attractive, we went to lunch and he kissed me. Well, that's where it all started, me and the plumber began hanging out at least once a week of course one thing led to another. A month after my husband found out by grabbing my phone and seeing a text between me and a girlfiend who knew about the other guy. Of course it all went down hill from there, the arguing and fighting. Yet, he said he still wanted to be with me.
The plumber guy and I stayed friends, but stopped seeing each other for a good three weeks, until we started hanging out again. It's been 5 months now and we are till sneaking around almost once a week, I know it's awful, and I should stay away from him, but for some reason I can't. I told my husband I wanted a divorce several times, but he kept begging me to try to work things out. We went to counseling and it didn't help. Now, I think he is actually taking me seriously and has talked about moving back home to be with family.
Instead of being happy though, I am miserable. I don't love my husband, yet the "other" guy can be very wishy washy, the worst part is, he's married too and unhappy. So basically I get his attention when he has time for me or decides to make time for me, the sad thing is I'm crazy about him, even though sometimes when we have plans he has to cancel them because of his wife, I know it's wrong, I shouldn't want to be with someone who isn't available. He told me we should run away together, but I don't know if it's because he really wants to be with me or he's just fed up with his wife and his life. I know I need to ditch them both, get a divorce and tell the other guy to stop calling me, I have tried to stop seeing him before, but he always some how knows just what to say to make me come back, now I'm trapped.