Im Confused, of My Behavior

What i said I would never do to my husband, Im doing it now. I have kissed another man. I have no respect for my marriage anymore, and I feel sad , but I dont feel guilty. WHY???????????

My husband cheated on me for over a year, and I found out about it october of 2008.......That day he destroy me, and what I thought was a perfect marriage, was nothing but a fake one. I have never cheated on my relationships. I thought I never would but this betrayal has change me to another woman who is tired of bieng the innocent perfect person.....Have i become Cruela Devil?  lol

Since then my life has change drastically, I hate the marriage life, I want out,  but he does not want to let me go.......Also I think alot about my boys.....I dont want to destroy thier life with divorce, and I also dont trust my husband to take care of them on his own.........I dont know what to do! Im stuck!

So I have been keeping myself bussy with school, kids and friends....I have gain a little more freedom in my life...........and I like it!

Due to that I have met someone, a man, a friend. I like him, he is my dancing partner when I go out with my group of friends......My best-friend introduce me to him...He knows my situaton and is okay with it....He says it okay we are just having fun as friends..........

He is very resectfull to me......But I have kissed him twice already.......

I have been going out with my friends crowd for a month already, and I have so much fun with them. Especially him. He has brought the old Diana back.....I can be myself around him and my friends and I love it.............They like me for who I am and they dont put me down like my husand and mom do.......

We go to bars and sing in kareoke, we play basketball, we have bar b que's, etc. You name it we have a grand time..............

I know in my mind I am doing the wrong thing, but why do I continue to do it......I dont think its fair for me , my husband or my new crush.......

Please someone give me advice what do I do??????????



dianaspy5 dianaspy5
31-35, F
8 Responses Jun 27, 2009

I am amazed at your post and sympathise because I am a man at the other end of the same conundrum - at the other side of the planet we are on .... lol<br />
Enjoy, and don't jump to far or too fast! Have fun and realise there should be no guilt.

We are here for you, y mas yo, ya sabes...siempre seras mi amiga....:D conocemos tanto de nosotros hasta confidentes podemos ser....tu sabes que te quiero....y quiero lo mejor para ti....

no thank you.....

Power to you. I'm here for you. Call me if you need to.

thank you for your helpfull comments ep friends.....<br />
<br />
Yes I have thought about all that.....I dont want to be a bitter woman, I want to be happy again......and i have my foot on the ground lately, I dont let nobody play with my heart again......<br />
<br />
I know the only way I can be happy is ending this marriage before it gets worse.....

just be with what makes you happy

Well everybody will have different opinions on this, but just remember one thing. NEVER stay in a marriage for the "kids" sake. Because they do grow up and move out and on with their lives, and you Diana, are the one stuck with a husband you do not want. And the only thing that remains is that you are now older, and will become bitter at life, because you wasted all that time with a man you no longer love, and you can not re capture those years back. They are gone forever... Remember that Diana.

Dont go through life "Re-acting" to what is coming. "Act-not React" Remain as level headed as you would think someone else would be, realize the end game, plan your best, be somewhat flexible, but set your foot down to the best of your ability and remain strong, remember, your a strong woman, but be fair. Instead of you/and or/others just talking and waiting, people will notice the new you and respect you. The end game is, your life will not get away from you, and you will feel better about yourself.