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Spinster? I Don't Think So...

I'm 43 (soon to be 44) and I've never been married and I live alone.    People assume that something must be wrong with me, but my solitary state is by choice.  I haven't yet met anyone to change my mind (although I just got out of a near-matrimony relationship), and I may never marry-or not marry until my 50's.  I dislike where I'm living now, but I don't have the finances to change it.  I've been alone for so many years and so now I don't know if I could tolerate another person here-ALL THE TIME-although I'm wondering about that due to my experience with the last man.
     I don't mind being alone...
mistressmonique mistressmonique 46-50, F 20 Responses Nov 28, 2011

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If you're true to your wants, needs, desires, and lifestyle choices, it's all good right?

I really appreciate your thought.. Add me pls..

interesting comments...lifelong serial relation ships myself...no complaints

It's kind of ironic, maybe the way that society see's gender, that the male equivalent is bachelor, which conjures up an image of a happy go lucky guy who doesn't want to settle down but still plays the field. Whereas spinster seems to portray a woman as an 'old maid'.
Of course there is nothing wrong with you. I get the same thing, why am I not 'settled'? Is there something wrong with me? Because I have chosen a single bed over a double doesn't make me unsettled!
My choice is for a variety of reasons, mostly to do with who I am inside and I don't mind being alone either. I am not scared of the word 'alone', which often seems to be used out of context, as if to imply there must be sadness attached to it for it to exist.
The way you live your life is nobody's concern but yours and the reason's why never have to be justified. But you know that anyway *wink*

All the best to you x x x

Be yourself and live up to what you believe,maybe you will find a partner but if your content with status quo then enjoy what you have.

But wouldn't you say that getting married like everyone else is status quo?

No I meant your own status Quo the way you live,sorry if I didn't come over clearer.

so long as you enjoy your own company

You seem well adjusted and in control of some things in your life.. bravo for you ..
Besides you have friends here. We all support our friends.

Too many people want to force some kind of label on everyone. Why can't we just be people? I say do whatever makes you happy and everyone else be damned.

Hey how are you I wish to be in your circle of friends can we chat as well and share our thoughts?

After looking over your profile...I won't be your cyber fuckbuddy. I don't have a webcam. Are you interested in having me as a friend now?

Yes of course I am interested to have you as my friend and just for putting the record straight not into cyber sex nor have I ever asked or used webcam.. I am just a simple person more interested in sharing views and opinions with an intellect flavor

@surfers59-Okay-I'll add you to my circle and we'll see what happens. I'm on this site for conversation and (as you said) sharing of views and opinions. My name (mistressmonique) tends to throw people off, but I'm not a hot-to-trot horny woman. There are so many of those on here. This is not a dating site-men (and women) don't seem to realize that.

I think I am not at an opinionated person nor I tend to judge people or pass my verdict which site is for what purpose.. In my view every one has his/her own way of making life interesting so let it be that way and above all I always like to live without any complexes emotional or physical..

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I enjoy your analysis of me words.

It's amusing.

I have been celibate for two years.

And my wife has an aversion to sex....so we have not had any for six years.

Does that answer your question ?

Will you answer mine ? Or avoid it with another question ?

Again,interesting the way in which you answered me. Yes, I am celibate, and probably will be for some time to come. This has to do with the way I am. I think sex is very healthy and good for you, but I'm not one for "**** buddies". I don't think of it as wrong, and I'm not against it, but I can't do the "casual sex" thing. That's just not me-it has to do with having parents from the 50's.

Are you celibate ?

Interesting that you'd ask that. What about you? Are you celibate? I looked over your profile, but I can't remember anything about marriage.Actually, since the last man hurt me and made me so angry-I don't know if I could deal with another person.

Spinster is just a word which in the English language means a woman who is of marriagable age but has never been married, Nowdays usually only used in legal documents.
However I do recognise the negative conotations associated with the word when applied to a woman in your position.
There is of course nothing wrong, or strange about a woman living alone through her own choice.
The idea posited by newman 1941 that 'there is a man out there God made just for you' is of course total bollocks.
There probably are a number of men who you would be very happy with, and if the day comes when you whish to find a husband, i'm sure that some youthful older and hopefully wiser man will not be too hard to find.
Good luck to you, whatever your married status.

Hey I say lets all go back to the 60s and start communes.PEACE.....LOVE......ROCK-N-ROLL. Those are ageless themes and I liked the 60s.

Yes, I agree with you. The themes of the 60's were great (communes, free love, etc.), but it can't fully work. People are stupid, and people can't all get along, but it is a fantastic idea. There's a place sort of like that fairly near me; an "intentional community".

It is not for everyone. My brother is 58 and not married. He is busy, and not lonely. Everyone is different and one institution (marriage) does not fit all.

Marriage is overrated and was originally invented for economic purposes.

Yes, I know. This whole "love" thing-originally it was more of a business kind of thing-bringing families together.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way you live but I know what you mean. Some people expect you to either be in a relationship or if not, to want to be in one. That's just not the case for many of us single folk. I've been single for two years, after my last relationship of 3 years broke up amicably thankfully, and I love it. I could stay this way for a very long time, perhaps permanently. Relationships have always been difficult for me and after trying for many years I could now do without the complications and compromise. Anyway I've blethered enough here's to happy singledom! :0)

I have a good friend who is a 48-year-old single woman. She's just coming off a breakup with an *** of a boyfriend. I wouldn't call her a spinster by any means!

my dear lady Opalgaia,<br />
I am rak 52 from india,as professional counsellor,can say ...U r a mormal human being ..it is absolutely perfect to enjoy celebecy until u wish or till pass through this life. In our society it is very normal..the bacheler status..history is the witness to that.Many great master in the past were bachlers..there are still many masters who r into meditation and ofcourse already attained higher energy level by self realisation and human software developement...try and find ways to satisfy personally if it interest U...I am with u and shall always respect u as nice human being having an individality..kind regards..Rak Naithani

Just because you are an independent woman, does not by any standard make you a spinster. The economy is making things hard for every one. I see you as a woman that can take care of herself without a man. Some people are jealous that they could not support themselves and that's why they call some women who can a spinster. Look over them. Be proud of your independence......