Faced Poverty And Faced It Down...

I love men... they have been the source of some of the greatest times of my life and some of the worst times of my life, but I still love them. My 2nd husband left me when we were going thru the worst times. He would not let me work and would hide the car keys from me, take the phone with him, what ever he could to keep me from working. He lost his job at a wharehouse so went to work for a cousin. It was about 70 miles from home so he was living with his cousin and wife during the week and would come home on weekends, or I would go there while looking for a new house. We wound up getting a divorce, since he had an affair with his cousins wife.

In the meantime, he had not been paying the gas and electric bills. I was now a single mother of 3. The only reason we had a roof over our heads was due to my parents, who owned the home I was living in. (It was under contract too me before the marriage, but that's a different story) Instead of upsetting my kids about the lack of gas and electricity who were too young to understand at the time anyway, I told them we were going to have an adventure. Each morning I would fill their wade pool with fresh water, and by noon it would be warm enough for them to get clean in. We would have fun and find new ways to "barbeque" fun new foods. I would read to them in the evening since it did not get dark until 9 pm anyway. I had a battery powered boom box so we would dance and have "parties". I look back on that phase of my life and I think I handled it as well as I could. My daughter says it was one of her favorite summers, I still have not told her it was due to necesitty, I would have her just remember it as a fun summer. I don't know what my oldest son thinks about it, he never has said, and my youngest was only 2.

sixand0 sixand0
46-50, F
12 Responses Feb 26, 2010

I have known poverty in my life... or rather, a severe lack of money... I believe they are different things... that summer was not poverty... it was a lack of money, and chauvanistic bastard.<br />
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I do know that when you don't have a quarter to spare... two dollars is a lot of money. I am not there right now... thank you for reminding me of that!

Thank you Max... It was scary, but I didn't want that to reflect on to my kids who were innocent and I wanted to keep it that way.

sixand0, i realise this post is quite old, but I just have to comment. You are ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE in the way you handled this situation. I don't think there are many people out there who would resist the temptation to tell the kids "It's all daddy's fault" What you did took strength, courage and that "x-factor" that just makes some people more special than others.<br />
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I'm with JoJewel here - you are an absolute GEM.

Triple - Thank you for your comment. My parents are wonderful, my Mom did not know the entire situation and she still scolds me for not letting them know how bad it was. I make sure she knows how grateful I was and still am for them to stand with me no matter what. I felt they were doing enough (more than enough) and already felt I was taking advantage of them. I got myself into the mess and had to get myself out of it.

I can highly give yourespect for how you handled the situation. I am a man who has the opposite situation in which my wife is the one who runs out on me when things get tough. HOW EVER, I am older and no kids around to care for and but she still says she loves me. (laughing) I do nto understand people like that. They say " I love you" then turn on you when you need both be there to make it thru rough time. This is my 3rd marriage and I am done with love. I do not believe in it like I use too. You are one special woman that is for sure. May God bless you always and your family. IT is also great your parents stood behind you. I am one who believes that marraige was ment to be 2 becomming one. but I guess that is old school now days. thank you for the inspiration

You are an inspiration to all women!

As a mother we all need to be strong for our children. It is one of the best "heirlooms" we can pass on to the next generation.

Have you ever heard of a book series called "Chicken Soup for the Woman's Soul" ? You should enter this experence on their site. It is truly worthy an touched my soul. I believe it may give strength to thousands more :D Thank you for being so strong for your children.

It puts a whole new meaning to the phrase "it was the worst time of my life, it was the best time of my life." One thing it did is let me know how strong I could be.

I think you are remarkable..well done considering what a mess he trapped you & the kids in. Awesome !

JJ- I thought it was funny when they broke up and he called wanting me to take him back, I told him I knew it wouldn't work, that it almost never does.He asked me why I didn't say something to keep him, I just laughed and told him she had done me a favor by taking him off of my hands. <br />
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Ladya - I had despair and self pity aplenty, I just did not want to inflict it on my kids. There were a lot of nights I would cry myself to sleep. I had a hard time finding a job then too. I was selling my plasma to by diapers and toiletries. But overall I think I did okay, there were some fun times as well, I had friends that would come over and we made it a party atmosphere with the kids with (and don't hold this against me) candles and music. ROFLMAO.

Geez, your ex sounds like a real jerk, sleeping with the wife of the cousin who gave him a job.<br />
But you, my dear, you are a gem. With your courage and creativity you turned adversity into a memorable summer for your children.