Especially When It Comes to Relationships.....

 I always feel so damn akward, because I never really dated anyone, or had a "traditional" upbringing. I didn't go to sleep overs, or out on dates. I didn't do the dances, proms, games, stuff like that. I never really learned how to interact with my peers. Now that I'm older, it's worse. I don't go out, due to a lot of different things, but I'm extremely shy & I don't talk much. I tend to keep my head down & try to blend into the walls. It's a hard way to live but I don't even know where to begin to change it. So I continue living my life & hope that one day I'll be able to come completely out of my shell.....
 I believe that this was one of the things that devided Shane & I. He was one for wanting to go out & spend time with people. I tried, but he never understood & he'd just up & leave me alone. He'd go with some friends into another part of the house, or outside (usually to smoke up) & I'd be alone in a room full of people I didn't know with no idea how to make conversation or act. It was AWFUL!! I stopped going with him. I honestly think he perferred to go alone anyway. I cramped his style. I think next time I either have to come out all the way, or I gotta find a guy who doesn't like to go anywhere, or not often anyway. Heehee!! I'm okay if I know the people, for the most part. But I tend to have panic attacks if I'm left alone with strangers. I know I'm such a freakin' wimp.......

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26-30
1 Response Mar 28, 2009

No worries. I used to be that way too.