I Need To Do Something With My Life.
I'm a 29 year old nanny. I feel so confused right now and I feel like everyone is passing me by. The family I nanny for treat me like gold so it's not them it's me. I just don't want to do it anymore. Every year that goes by feels wasted on a job that's not really giving me experience for a real career. My job is very isolating I deal with kids all day. I want to go to college but I've been out of school for 11 years and I only know basic math. Growing up I wasn't encouraged to do well in school so I didn't learn much academically and my grades showed it. Even if were college ready I don't know what I want to do. No one in my family went to college and they all have dead end jobs. My family accepts their life but I can't and my worst fear is becoming them. I isolate myself from people because I'm embarrassed of my job and it's hard to make friends when you don't feel good about yourself. I'm married to a wonderful man who feels the same way about his job but he makes good money and can't quit. The colleges that are available to me aren't the best and I don't want to waste time and money on a degree that won't get me anywhere. I feel guilty complaining because my life isn't hard my husband and I don't live paycheck to paycheck, we have no children to support, no health problems, and other than a mortgage and car payment we have no debt. I feel blessed but I want more from life I want to be proud of who I am. All my life I've been embarrassed of myself and family because I grew up on welfare and never had or done anything to be proud of. I need direction but I don't know where to find it. I honestly don't know what I'm good at, I never participated in clubs and sports because my family had no money. I'm tired of feeling like a nobody I need motivation, I need to change my life before it's too late.