Oh I Wish I Knew What to Do to Help Myself

Omg where do I start... My hubby and my 3 old son and myself recently moved into my father in laws home. I know it is a good move. We were able to find a renter really quickly and all is going so smooth. Right now I just don't know what to do. I know moving drains anyone, but moving in with 3 males (I am the only female right now) is even more draining. They are so damn concerned with getting the tools and garage in order.. forget the house that is for me to do-- yea feeling the pressure. I also have some OCD tendencies and with that I am driving myself even more crazy!!! I am already on Welbutrin, which my hubby doesn't understand. I don't mind my job but I hate my boss. She is so two faced it drives me nuts. I dream everyday of doing something different the only thing is I can't take a pay cut right now. I want to get our finances in order (Part of why we moved in with my FIL and are renting our house. I was not attached to the house, my hubby had already bought it before we met. I dont mind living with my FIL, he helps out a lot with my son which helps out greatly but I am just so tired all the time. I get enough sleep and I am still tired. I have so much going on right now I dont even know where to start. I am a smoker and did quit for 2 months until I realized (even did research on this) that the reason why my Ulcertive Colitis was flaring up (intenstinal disorder) more with me quitting smoking. I felt better in some ways by quitting but felt like crap. The crappy feeling was worse than the better feeling. I was sick more and missed more work. Missing more work is not good! I have benefits and sick leave and such but if I miss work no one does the work for me. Where I work is good with me missing work and such but they don't do my work for me or allow me to do work from home due to confidentiality reasons. i so want a new job and to do something different, something that requires me to be creative and inventive. I am a case manager for people with disabilities which is draining in itself. I just don't know what to do anymore. I am going to try and start working out and hopefully that will help, and in a few weeks I will try quitting smoking again and hope for a better outcome. I already take 6-9 pills a day for my UC and really don't want to have to take more but I might have to in order to quit smoking.. which sounds totally crazy in itself. No one understands what I am going through at least no one I personally know. Even if I take a day of work for me I drive myself nuts knowing there is a lot to do at home.. I just don't know anymore. I try to read and take long baths which helps momentarily but once I am done I go right back to feeling overwhelmed and tired and crabby. I keep trying to think of how I can approach my supervisor about options that might be available with my UC flare ups but don't know how to initate that. I feel I should have more than 1 idea available but I can't even come up with one, none the less two. I think that might help but who knows... any suggestions are very appreciated!

doccooners doccooners
Jun 29, 2009