I Do And Say Stupid Things And I Hate It

I've messed up more than a few times, I become air-headed or blond at times, but I can't stand that I'm like that SO MUCH. I'm tired of being embarrassed and ashamed of myself, I try to do what I'm told at work, I do tasks as best I know how, I jump on things I already know how to do and think I'm doing a good job, then... then someone comes into the office and my boss has to make fun of me for it. He speaks in a soft tone, but makes me feel stupid. For example, I was given my bosses Cosco card, when I got back he wasn't here and left for the day, so I put it in the drawer I always put the paychecks or other important things. He calls me and tells me to get my head together and grab his card out of my purse - its not there so I go looking and find it 5 minutes later. I call and tell him where it is, he says "you need to be able to handle direction better, you need to actually LISTEN, you're acting irresponsibly". I had acted responsibly I thought, I didn't take his card home on accident, I didn't leave it on his desk in the open for anyone to take, I stored it safely and because it took me 5 minutes to remember where it was I feel like the dumbest person in the world. I feel like all they do is make fun of me, they do it to my face as a joke but I SWEAR they just think I'm the dumbest biatch theyve ever met. I'm tired of occasional incidents like this being the largest part of how they view me. I am a 4.0 student all my life and in college, I don't know how to be smarter about every day things. I write as much of it down as I can but then my boss cuts me off and says 'JUST LISTEN' and I do, I do the task well, but then he'll ask me later about it and I do not recall what I did. I hate how he is really nice when its just us in the office like most of the day it is - but as soon as another worker comes in he has to act all condescending to me and instead of demonstrating his authority i feel like he is belittling me. It is ridicule - not direction or advice. I feel like i should have just dyed my hair blond and then they would expect me to be stupid so instead of making fun of me for it theyd just know thats how I was. Might as well go blond, guys wont hit on me at bars because I have short brown hair even if im dressed to the T, but if im blond I could be wearing jeans and theyd be all over me. Im so tired of being ridiculed and insulted, I understand I do mess up on occasion and learn my lesson WHILE figuring it but they think I don't even know what they're talking about and theyll even stop mid sentence and walk away because they assume its over my head. Ive never been a receptionist or worked in a construction field before - Ive been here this entire time trying to step up to my bosses standard and from what Ive heard Ive exceeded all other receptionists but... when i mess up i dont want to be ridiculed for it! Id rather learn and move on instead of feel ashamed and dwell on it because my feelings were hurt..... I can't train myself to suddenly be better at remembering things other than writing everything down, but my boss says thats a waste of time im a young woman i should be able to remember everything just fine but i dont. Either he makes fun of me for forgetting or makes fun of me for wasting time trying not to forget. Any advice from anyone, please???
mauimichele mauimichele
22-25, F
2 Responses Jul 16, 2010

You're just a little clumsy. Try to keep things in your head, don't daydream keep thinking about things over and over that you need to remember. Try to relax. If you smoke weed or anything like that; stop! When a girls clumsy it can really annoying but it can be kinda sweet too!:) I used to daydream alot and I was really clumsy but now I'm not, I changed! :)

I had a tear in my eye as I read your story. I have a daughter that is your age. She is 24. You sound a lot like her.She was very reserved. Always worried about hurting people's feelings. The day that she finally decided that she had enough of being treated like a doormat and started voicing her opinions and real feelings was the day that people started respecting her.She didn't have to cuss or act stupid. She just started making her presence known. Do you like your job? Really like your job? If you quit would you be able to get another job? If you do this please leave 2 weeks notice. If you don't leave 2 weeks notice it will hurt you when you apply for another job. You are young you may want to look into going to school and furthering your education, There is all kinds of grants available. I am telling you this because you don't sound happy at your job.Why be miserable at a job that you hate? I have quit good paying jobs and taken lesser paying jobs because enjoying my job is more important than making big bucks.Wouldn't you rather work at a job that you like? Do yourself a favor and look into going to school even if it is an on line course. Do it while you are still young. Don't wait 10 years later because you will regret it and it will be much harder to learn . Take care of yourself and I hope it works out for you