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If I...

If I say anything today, let anything go, I feel as if it will all fall down and into those little pieces that get fractured to extent they never fit back in the right way again.

So I am trying to sit as still as possible, affect nothing, try nothing, even tears, they are remaining in the welling position rather than the movement position. 

It has all become a terrible mess of uncertainty, yet I should be the most surest person there is as I know what I have been given, it is just I know very much what I cannot provide, what I cannot be or be capable of.

 

deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 17, 2009

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I think there are things that are impossible to "know" my friend. You might *feel* that you cannot provide, or be capable at certain times, but maybe in time those feelings will pass if you acknowledge within yourself that they aren't necessarily true.

Fear and insecurity can be paralyzing. I hope this passes quickly. Maybe you should allow some of those tears to fall. I'm sorry you're feeling this way.