In Love With A Married Woman

I am a lesbian and our story started when I was 13 years old., I went on a KARATE DO class and I happen to like a group of girls older that me, but my rank in karate do is higher that them, so they pay respect to me as their SENSEI (master).

I met E she's one of the group whom i admire about but i have no guts to ask her out even for just a friendly date I am a bit shy back in those days so it never bloomed. my feelings for her kept and buried, (i think?) but when its time for me to go to high school i stopped my karate do classes and i focused on studying..

10 years passed, with courtesy of Facebook I found "E" but she's married and has 2 kids., then we had each other's contact number., we texted everyday and we see each other thrice a week., then she confessed she likes me, and it started 10 years ago during our karate days. its like my feelings for her was dug.

We dated even though i knew she's married. I love her so much that I didn't care at all.. she has 2 kids and I love them., she tells me she's tired of her life with her husband and wants to leave him. she even told me she'll leave the kids for me too but i don't want that coz I feel pity for the kids coz they're still young. and i don't want them to grow up without the guidance of their instead I'm the one who adjusted and even if it is not right we had an affair.. she doesn't want to have sex with her husband coz she doesn't want to cheat on me..
bbyko bbyko
1 Response Jan 18, 2013

You have 3 options to choose:
1, Let her divorce and build up a happy life with her (without children or maybe with her children)
2, Stay in secret relationship with her while she is still with her husband taking care of the children (but this also can't be secret for long time and you both will feel guilty and stuffy by hiding other ppl and meeting secretly in limited time)
3, Break with her because she is married and u feel pity for her children ( but remember u both love each other, and with this, u can't date her again)

So which way do u think is the best?
Remember that she said she is tired of her life and wanted to leave her husband. So if u don't come to her, she might still leave her family to go with other one in the future.
She likes u and can give up everything to follow you. You also love her. So, in my opinion, you shouldnt miss your chance, and it's also the chance to relieve her from a tiring life as she said. About children, if you want and her husband agrees, both of you can raise them. Of course you both should be patient and solve step by step. Do not make a shock divorce to avoid some bad drama caused by her husband and society.
Good luck~

thanks for that helpful realizations.. I think I'll take option number 1? but the problem is divorce is not yet a "law" in our country.. :(

1 is the only option any mistress wants.

hahaha you're right.. damn I hate this but sad to say "I'm a mistress" :(

I aprreciate you as you think about the kid. I know Philippines doesnt allow divorce but Filipinos have open minded. Some of those who want to divorce, move to other country to live. I hope you can be with your gf (and if possible, raise her kid as a kid of both of you )

she told me recently she enrolled herself into a nursing program.. she wants us to leave as soon as she finishes i hope we could be together soon.. :)) thank you my friend.

It's glad to hear that. U deserve to be happy :)

that is a really positive start.

how long is the course? where will you live together? if its overseas i guess she cant use her filipino qualifications, so it must be inside your country, how far will you go away from your current house? will she take the kids with you both? or leave them? i think its wise not to go too far incase she gets frustrated from seperating with them if you dont take them with you. what will she discuss with the husband?

if she can answer some small details of her plan, it means she is definitely making one, if she avoids to talk it, you must check her face to see if its from being tired or she is hesitant, if shes hesitant, is it because she didnt plan all steps yet, or is she buying time to keep you longer without thinking those seriously...

i hope its a positive result for you. with or without her, i hope its a positive result.

hang in there if it has promise and seems worth fighting for~ its worth fighting for if she is also fighting and treats you kindly and well and listens to your fears and cares for them not just as an affair but as a real lover, right now, you get half her attention and her husband has half. if she can take her hand off him slowly but with conviction and desire to grab you, that she shows well, its a promising situation with a chance.

its about 2years.. she told me were going overseas and maybe take examinations that will allow her to qualify for that work abroad.. she said she'll have to leave the kids first then we'll get them when its the right time.. well her plan was to elope just leave a note to her husband and those kind of things.. the kids will stay with my mother until were able to get them.. im really hoping for the best :) thanks guys for your moral support :) its highly appreciated

If you guys are going abroad, you guys should choose a country that will take her or both of your qualifications or she should study in that country instead of in yours...whatever will make her, or the both of you, valid for work...

If its me, I also have a martial arts background, I would want to take the kids with me, not put them at my mums house for a hiatus. My mum is aging everyday whereas I am very physically alert to even the slightest sound to protect myself and those I love that sleep in the same house as me at night.

I am going to move my mother to my house this year, as I want her to be safe. If she is close, I can protect her with my all. Please think of the kids like that if you both plan to take them...

I am a child of divorce, so, I can say, if the kids go with their mother from the beginning, they will trust their mother to protect them always, by her always being in their side, while young and impressionable, even if she isn't invincible, they will think her as being their safe haven. Children see their parents as superman or superwoman.

If you are acting as a parent when they are small, they will trust you for everything and it will be easier to keep them from harm by keeping an eye on them from the start :)

thank you for that advice i'd consider that.. my mom is not that old maybe well just leave the kids with her for a couple of years and if we are already stable at the country we chose then well come and get them.. :) your so kind.. actually all of my friends here.. i hope we could meet someday and i dont know? drink a couple of beers and talk about lots of things.. :) we all have some thing in common.. :)

Do you think he will accept her to take the kids away? He might love them and want them to stay. I don't want it to get messy for you. It's already messy enough. I hope if you guys make this transition it isn't too rocky.

These days I don't eat a lot, so I can't drink. My friends say I'm so happy when I'm drunk but its bad for my body, I'm trying to avoid it if I can, but u can have a beer and I'll drink juice haha

My country is so open to gays and lesbians. They are everywhere and no one cares, it's nice. Last year I danced in the world famous pride parade. I was going to this year as well but I'm not so lively these days. I'm training for Chinese New Year so that's taking my energy instead. I think if you guys choose a westernized developed country, you will feel less suffocated than in your country. There is no need to fear coming out etc. it's considered as normal as being straight. I'm so lucky for that, however I usually date Asian woman who make me feel suffocated by the level they want to hide it. Especially when they talk about how their parents harass them for marriage. My mum doesn't care at all about my sexuality, she has met one of my ex gfs before and doesn't care if I don't get married. It's so refreshing.

I lost a lot of my male friends when they found out I'll never ever ever ever sleep with them because I'm not interested in men, but these days I have a great best friend who is a guy and doesn't care that I like girls :) he is great, I love his gf too she is so smart and kind. I'm surrounded by great friends who pull me up when I'm down. So I'm trying my best to be that kind of person also, I always listen to their problems.

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