What A Bad Day!

I woke up early in the morning feeling happy, when a beep from my phone suddenly changed my mood..! its my girlfriend.., and very angry,, :( she was very angry at me because of my past comment at facebook.. which was 2 years ago.. damn.. I just wanna go home and sleep coz I feel extremely annoyed! i told her it was long ago before we became lovers.. she's just a close minded person.. I feel like **** and It's the first day of the week and Im at work damn.. I have meetings in which I cant cancel, wish I was the boss.

she is always angry about my ex girlfriends and everything about my past when the fact that I dont get angry with the situation that she's married and I am the other woman damn!
bbyko bbyko
3 Responses Jan 20, 2013

my ex was exactly the same and also married.

its going to send you crazy honey.

its a kind of hypocritical double standard, its fine for them to have sex with their husband because their excuse is they are in a dilemma on breaking their family or they feel obligated to have sex with him because they feel guilty for all their husbands years of help, or they dont want to come out to family or friends or have a shame of a divorce, or whatever they use as an excuse of keeping him, but if you say like, some other girl looked at me, they fly off the handle and get jealous like crazy, its so hypocritical.

my ex started calling me her partner, but everytime i heard it , i didnt know if to laugh or cry...

there is no way she was my equal when she was putting me as 2nd best. i was her toy and it almost killed me 2 or 3 times. its going to destroy your self worth...she should make a promise to make a decision to leave him for you by a certain date that you decide. if on that day, she says she cant leave him, you should run.

after i ran from my ex, 2 girls in the same week who found out we are finished jumped on me, both i had no idea liked me and one i thought liked men.

if you spend all your time with the wrong one, even the right one is sitting next to you, you cant see them because all your mind is taken by this selfish girls drama.

if you love someone you dont want them to sleep with anyone else, thats so true. its why i wanted the husband gone. but if its she has two lovers and wants you both to only look to her, its greedy and selfish.

she can divorce and live with you without coming out. she cant make that her excuse. i dont know her situation, but i know, everyday you are getting older and you seem to be a good girl in that you want to stay with her, not some girl who throws themselves at many women, but a serious and monogamous girl. dont you think you deserve someone to give you the same respect? you are losing your looks as you age,everyone is, its much easier to catch a new one who doesnt keep a husband while you are young.

maybe if u say u will leave, she will cry and beg you to stay and having feelings with her especially if you are together a long time will make you want to stay. but how does it make you feel to know at midnight when you are 70 years old and catch a sickness, she is not in your bed feeding you a soup to fix your sickness, she is at his side, just sending you get well message, maybe thinking of you, but staying with him.you cant live waiting for her, hope and dreams are for things you can control. this is fantasy that he will leave until it becomes reality.

sorry even if they dont have sex, she is in his house or something i guess.

thank u for ur comment and compassion over me... its a less burden knowing that some people whom i dont know cares.. thank u so much i guess i will think about what you said.. as you know its not easy knowing that we love each other, I can feel sometimes that i lose my self worth.. I guess martyrdom comes with love.. ugh wish it would just vannish.. anyways thank u I appreciate everything :)

even i didnt want to run, i ran.

because there is no promise.

she started to plan a holiday we can finally spend the whole night together instead of her run home after sex to sleep in his bed leaving me crying every time, but then suddenly she cancels and never promised to reschedule.

she never said its she really wants to go , even it was that way apparently. she said i should feel that but i cant feel anything on the other side of the world, only her words, i cant see her face tired from work and she cant see me losing sleep and crying every night.

i know she loved me and she knew i love her. but always said "i cant make a time to meet at night because of his things" his things are never my problem, i fell in love when i thought she is a single woman in a dating site, same as you i guess. you knew her before you knew of her husband.

"i cant " never means "i want to" if she says i want to , i guess you can wait. but please be careful of the difference between hope and fantasy.

you have a hope if she has desire to make compromises for you. if she can stay out of home one night to be together for you, or plan a vacation together , if she has no history of her husband knowing she has lesbian tendencies, its so normal for woman to go on girls trip holidays. she can make a time for being with you and making you her number 1 even if only for that time

if she says she wants to but never makes efforts. dont believe and run

even i would protect my ex with my life, and love her with my everything, if she thinks to keep him forever, i cant wait for forever, i am not of infinite life. i cant aim to live to be 1 year older than him so i can spend one year of life together as only hers before my death or something. its ridiculous idea. icant wait forever because i dont have forever.

some other girls love me, so i will copy her. stay with one i dont feel a sexual passion for because its safe and boring and predictable, but it has a future.

she was scared to leave him for me because of social reasons and to hurt him. she was also scared she cant trust me to stay forever. but thats bullshit because i was staying even in her worst time, when she is sleeping in someone elses bed. if that doesnt show dedication i dont know what does.

i still love her with my everything , but doesnt mean i should shoulder all her burdens and lose my self worth, self confidence etc. because she keeps me like a secret in a box , she pulls out when she wants to play with. i dont care if im a secret for social or cultural things, i have no problem, but i dont stay while she sleeps in anothers bed, its going to kill me. ill lose all my strength and self worth. im not a number 2 im a number 1. i make her number 1 even enough where my mother was packing my house so i would leave my country, family, friends, work, school and house to stay, but i couldnt and cancelled at the last second. there is no promise or hope for future as long as she discusses keeping him.

i told him we were together, her people say it was evil of me but my people said, i saved myself and she was mistreating me by not giving me any hope for future, just taking my young life when i could have another who loves me the same but respects me more to not keep a second lover.

she said its our end and i cant go back because i hurt her. but she doesnt understand even i cried and told her many many times, i need a hope for future i dont need a "i cant stay outside at night because his parents watch me" i need a , i want to be with you i will do all my best to make a time no matter how short because i want to see you too.

she said she is in dilemma and have headaches when thinking these, but i cried many times and said i need any kind of promise for our future, even small one, that you will treat me better by giving me even a small time where im yours and not his too. i know i had all the days that she send message to me and never to him, but its different when she sleeps in his bed still. its filthy to me. if she had sex with him and then come to me for sex i would want to scrub her body until its red to get off the feeling of he was on her skin. even i love her crazy i never asked for him.

i never asked for him...

i asked her future plans, she said to move back to her country with him and she will go when his work posts him there. she has other dreams for herself that dont involve him but when she said in 5 years time i go to live with him in a second different country, how can i hope? how can i try harder? how can i wait? she said she wants his kids then maybe divorce but his parents will definitely fight to keep the child from her and then she must stay. the second she has kids its game over for me because he will fight to keep them all together i guess.

i loved her with my everything, i still do. but i never slept in anothers bed when we are together. she does every night.

i hope your gf hurry up and choose you soon to end your pain. if it hurts for too long you should find another to love you properly, not with a half effort, but a full effort.

i have nothing to say your words struck me at the heart.. :( i really wish i wont end up like what u said losing myself... i really appreciate your comment.. it makes me think of things i didn't thought before.. i wish i could get out of this situation :( i really hope :(

Hey, HYSH1, I am sorry hearing your story. Seem you love her too much but she doesn't love u as much as u do.
I think ur story is not really same as bbyko's story.
And u r too emotional at this moment. You can post your own story seperately, not in this reply.
Don't break bbyko and her gf. Her gf loves her

Hey, SophiaS, I think you are the one too emotionally involved here, if you read that properly.

i said, stay if there seems to be a promising future, stay if she makes compromises, if she changes small behaviours everyday to show there is a chance and a hope, stay.

run if she is using you and trying to keep both. run if she changes nothing to stay with you.

i shared my experience so bbyko has something to think about, whats best for me might not be best for her, but i dont want her in pain so i show her she has two options.

yes, i was emotionally involved in my relationship and so was my gf, but she would make no compromises. My ex gf said yesterday: "i would never beg someone not to hurt me" but i begged her several times and she never heard me. I would cry and say, why cant you promise a time, even a short time, we can be together at night, a time when you dont go home to sleep in his bed. even i can show her my love anytime, i wanted her to see me smile at night, not cry as she leaves the room after finish ******* me senseless. i wanted to give her my smile not my tears.

my ex gf didnt show enough promise for the future, everytime i asked for compromises she will start to think about that and talk that and then suddenly clam up and say to stop the topic. everytime she doesnt want to listen to me when i ask for a kindness, just shut me down.

its an example of a time to run.

if her gf makes compromises and changes small things to show a desire to change the situation its reason to stay longer while thinking about it.

these days my ex said like...i was really considering to give you those, i wanted to spend time together more but i didnt know how much longer we can stay together, but its too late to say those and not enough promise!

actually yesterday she complained "you took my freedom" , i lost you, chance to cheat with a new girl and my familys trust.

actually, when she was late home they complained to her and suspected her, they told her husband she travelled to meet me and stayed late some nights, its like they are suspecting or watching all along anyway, she didnt match the everyday pattern so they suspected something. she lost the chance to cheat? wow...nice personality trait, not disappointed to hurt me most, disappointed she cant do something that would hurt her husband if he knew, when she doesnt have to hurt anyone if she chooses one person and lives happily with them.

she may have lost the chance to cheat but what is the purpose to cheat? if u want girls, choose one girl and be devoted, if u love your husband, you never played outside once, or twice in her case.

to SophiaS, you dont know to what level her gf loves her, you arent her gf. you cant speak for her, im just suggesting what behaviours to watch out for, maybe its her gf is going to divorce and make a happy family together, or maybe its her gf just want to play in two different worlds. Im just saying, she should look after herself first! as number 1 most important person of her life!.

i read her other post that her gf hit her when say to break up, if its normal girl, shes going to cry and show her love, or complain that she is being unfair, but this girl just threw a punch at her in her workplace. do you want her to stay and risk being punched again because you dont know their relationship? what if she miss the husband later, and want to go back but cant because she chose bbyko? maybe she hit her from frustration again. my advice is know your options and choose what is best for you, your advice to me was "dont break them", im not trying to break them, dont be so sensitive. i dont respect one who hits a woman im nervous about her gf but its not my business.

my advice was neutral, i said, if it has a hope, stay, if its just a fantasy, find someone who appreciates her more.

if both you and I care for her future, must be others will too. if she choose this woman, should be because she is the best option for her future. not crying on the floor alone sometimes wondering when her life will be fair, when this woman will be kind to her, must be this woman is kind to her or someone else is, but she should have the best option for her. she is the most important person in her life and she has the power to decide, who takes what from her, when and how.

im worried for her because i was losing self confidence and self esteem in my relationship, i dont want the same for her. if she chooses her gf should be her gf makes her happy and safe while she feels strong and healthy, not she is weak to her, always giving but never knowing if she can recieve. if she chooses this girl, should be she is the best option for her life! not just, one she fell into because she is losing herself to her.

bbyko, please care your body and your mind, your answer will come to you if you watch her behaviours. if you ask for a big thing and she gives you a small thing, its a compromise and a chance for future, if you ask for a big thing, then get nothing, then ask for a small thing and get nothing. she only has nothing to give.

please look after yourself as number one most important person in your life. if she makes you happy and smile, its a reason to stay, if you cry sometimes, should ask yourself if its just for now or forever. if its crying forever, dont waste your one and only life, if its just for now and you can see a promising future, not just a fantasy, maybe crying for now can bring happiness later. just care yourself first, because she is doing the same.

if she breaks from her husband, there is no need to feel sad for him. he has a chance to find a one who loves him more than her, a chance to find someone who doesnt cheat and gives their whole energy to make him happy, not a half energy. children arent stupid, even they will know they arent in love from the way they touch or dont touch each other when talking.she doesnt have to stay for the kids, when you love them.

and i think you arent selfish to say if she choses you that he cant meet his kids.

you are your number one priority honey. choose her if you are happy healthy safe and strong from being together. choose her if its not that way now but it could or will be in the future, choose someone else if she cant make you a better person than you are now by staying.

*the selfish type to say he cant see his kids, you are kind you wouldnt stop that

hahaha.. guys dont argue.. its ok HYSH1 stated her case and sophia stated hers.. :) i appreciate your kindness and concern thank u.. were bound by experiences here and i thank you for your gift of understanding and for reading my story and commending them,,. and i guess for the gift of friendship.. even if i didn't meet u personally my heart goes with the both of you, i consider you my friends :) thank you very much..

I think hysh has a point , why stay with soneone that can't even work on her promises !
You can see a cloud but can't stand on it , you can feel love but you need proof that this love will grow into something like commitment !!!

I didn't say her lover can't grow into commitment, just I suspected my ex lover can't from some statements they made, so I made the best decision for myself to leave.

If bbyko's lover can make some commitments that's so great for their mutual future together, if her lover can't, it will create further instabilities from now that was just my statement.

I didn't want to fight any just share my experience, thanks~~

10 More Responses

She just loves you soo much , you should be thankful :) don't feel annoyed
Remind her you love her the most like you won't ever fall in love again , situation will be ok as long as you reassure her she's the one , I love reassurance from time to time maybe she wants that too :)

thank you.. I'll try to remind her everyday! sometimes I just dont get her but I love her with all my heart

I agree with Purple87. She is not hypocritical. She loves u , so she got angry to see ur old post to someone else. (My ex. also asked me to hide all of my photos with my husband on FB) Your gf might misundertand it's the recent post.
And eventhough she knew it, as she loves u, she's jealous and becomes angry. That's normal. She expresses that but her mind is waiting for you to console her. She is married. That was not her fault. She loves u. With the society standard, it's properly her fault (to love someone else while she is married) and your fault (to love a married one) But, even though u know she is married , u still love her with your pure love. And as same as u, I guess she loves u purely too.
If she came to u because u r rich, or just wanna u as a mistress while having sex with her husband, she would be a bad one. But in your other story i read, she hasnt sexed w her husband for almost 1 year, she loves u and wants to follow u. So you are having a great one. And you should try your best to keep it and fight the obstacle.
As she is married with a child, sometimes she may hesitant and might be disencouraged. You should be always strong and inspire her. Make her believe in you that u r the one who can protect her and the good one that deserve u.

thank you.. I'll try, no i will be strong.. I just hope we could be together and i hope we will survive this obstacle

if you survive together, you will be stronger for it, if you survive by seperating, you will also be stronger. everyday of our lives we become stronger by the decisions we make. we choose our own path, choose what makes you happiest.

did you hide those photos to catch her? or tell her no, that your husband is most important?

if you hid those its showing her she is more important than your marriage, especially if there is the chance that your husband sees those photos go missing...

if bbyko's girlfriend considers her by making those kind of small adjustments, i can say there is a chance.

if she mentions her husband in her future though, she just wants both.

i pity her husband she keeps on telling him its over for the both of them and they're only together because of the kids and she is waiting for her stability but her husband is still keeping his hopes up.. I will tell you again another story about what happened the other day!

Ok please feel free to private message me any time about your struggles or write a new blog, many of us are always here to listen ;)

4 More Responses

It sounds like a very complicated situation.

yes it is a very complicated situation :(