Atlanta Linux Fest 2009, Part Two

There were many with the tell-tale ivory skin that only comes from hours of irradiation by green-on-black terminals or 10 year old 17” CRTs that they'd saved up years of allowance for, the sides still patched with Dr. Who, X-Files, Star Blazers, or Battlestar Galactica stickers and post-its with the cross-out lists of old root passwords.

This year marked a growing positive trend toward more diverse demographics. There were Indians, Asians, and African-Americans.

Even more amazing though, was the presence of Y-Chromosome deficient Linux aficionados. I know what you're thinking, surely he must be mad or mistaken, or the San Fran DragQueen Linux Distro reps were there. Next he'll say they found life on the moon, but no, I say to you that I saw this with my own eyes.

They had breasts. They had style. They were probably the only ones with fresh underwear. Yes, there were women at the Linux Conference, and not only that, they made up 5% of the attendees. Like the song by War, there were black ones, round ones, big ones, crazy ones.. Ok, it wasn't like that, but it was cool.

At the forward tables, nerds interfaced with each other comparing laptop OS's. Suddenly an MS Windows Welcome wav played loudly and all heads turned, and some even hissed. The culprit giddily laughed and said he always plays that to see the reaction. A lot of pompous laughter ensued, everyone reassured that their Open Source OS conference was untainted by the hideous Gatesean demon presence.

9:35 Am-

The main conference room is almost full. There are some sizable guys here. My mind flashed back to the nefarious network admin at Jurassic Park, Dennis Nedry, portrayed beautifully by Wayne Knight, whom many know as Newman on Seinfeld. I picture their desks, littered with miscellaneous candy wrappers and soda cans from late night sojourns.

I watch on as some guys eagerly whip out their gadgets and netbooks to collate with each other like ants doing meet and greet with twitching antennae.

We are formally welcomed by the speaker, and the screen displays his Ubuntu desktop. The introductory video begins to play. You see Darth Vader and a sextet of Stormtroopers behind him dancing to a hip hop song, and then in the same style as Star Wars Episode IV, the credits roll upward through the galactic star-filled background, welcoming all to the Atlanta Linux Fest 2009. It reads, “What ?? So you don't like Star Wars ?! You Know Where the Exit Is...” Then a clip of Mark Shutteworth, the Ubuntu founder, appears where he says, “The name of Ubuntu 10.04 is -” Cut! You'll find out at Ubucon.