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My Biggest Mistake of Them All

Excluding my past addiction, my biggest mistake was after my divorce wanting my children to have a relationship with their father.  I did everything I could for him to spend time with them.    I didn't have a relationship with my father and didn't want my kids to go without one.     I went as far as to take him to court over it.  The judge said "This is a first.  It's always trying to keep the father away from the kids."  He shook his head a little and said "I can't make him see the kids."  My response was "I'm hoping if he gives his word to a judge he'll follow through with it."  And he did just that.  He started seeing the girls.  For a little while.  My mistake was he only gave them crumbs, which hurt more than no father at all.
WarriorMom WarriorMom 51-55, F 11 Responses Nov 8, 2008

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Oh, that's sad. I guess you can't force someone to have paternal instincts. You were both mom and dad to your kids and I bet they appreciated that more than his crumbs.

thank you Rhiannon, it is something I struggle with far too often.<br />
xx~

I'm so sorry ancient, I can't even imagine.

Although you believe it was a mistake , the intent behind it was not. I am going to give you some advice that I myself have a hard time accepting- but I believe it fits this situation well: "do not own what is not yours". I say that in response to the last sentence of your story. I know you hurt for the girls, and I hurt for them as well. It is soooooooooo his loss!<br />
* hugging you close *

yep, gotta love those disfunctional families.

Ouch..... so do you ignore him?

Yep, poor guy, he has 3 families (5 kids) to suffer about.

That's is true. They do know that. You would understand if you saw.

I don't see that as being your mistake. I see that as being his mistake for being a fool. Your kids know you only wanted what was best for them.

Thanks, but I made a mistake.

That's a shame. How could someone not want to see their kids? I bet you gave your kids enough love for 2 parents. That just proves that you are a wonderful mother!