My Wife Is Bisexual

I am a straight man who is married to a bisexual woman. I have known since before we married and I chose to accept her as she is. I love her and I understand that she cant help being attracted to females as well as males. I support her if she wants to be with a woman...but we had to set some ground rules. 1) her relationship with a chosen woman cannot progress beyond being friends with some sexual pleasure sharing (no falling in love either way). 2) She will not be with another 3-somes, 4-somes, or even one-on-one (of course group sex with FEMALES is different if she chooses). 3) If it starts to interfere with our sex life, relationship, or marriage in any way then she will end it. I will not be with another woman because I have no real desire to be with anyone but my wife. Some have said "thats not fair to you"....well, I dont think it feels unfair at all. As long as I am able to be with her and my needs are met, then Im happy. She has told me that if she is with a woman and that woman is consenting, that I am welcome to watch. I always give them privacy and I dont know that I would (it would depend on my mood at the time). Any way, Her bisexuality doesnt bother me at all. Our sex life isnt the greatest right now, but it has nothing to do with this at all.  I love my bisexual wife and I wouldnt trade her for anything. I would never try to change her, Id never hurt her, Id never take advantage of the "opportunities" that come with her....I am her husband, and I am totally faithful to her.

IndyJoe IndyJoe
41-45, M
50 Responses Aug 7, 2008

My wife has always been curious and she finally tried being with a woman sexually. At first she did it to fulfill a fantasy of both of us. She did several more times and each time she enjoyed it more, with my approval. Lately she pretends not to be interested even though I know she is. She watches lesbian **** sometimes but hides it. Not sure why she is not comfortable being honest. I'm totally supportive and not jealous and want her to enjoy this experience. Any ideas?

I am a straight guy that has married a bi-curious woman.
I know it since we started dating and I'm quite happy with my marriage so far (8 years).
None of us had an exhaustive sexual life before marriage, so it's only natural that we both have sexual fantasies that we haven't realized yet.
But my opinion is that while some fantasies are not so strong and won't make us unfulfilled if we won't live it, there are some desires that maybe it's best not to ignore them.
I identify myself a lot with IndyJoe and wouldn't like to be on Possum0805's position in a few years.
Because I believe that marriage is much more about Love, honesty, happiness (etc) than about sexual exclusivity I've already let her try both another man and a woman (to clear doubts and curiosity).
While with the other man she loved the foreplay (massage in her back) but had to fake her ******, on her girl-girl experience (I think she only received it) despite having a strong ****** (of a new thing), she told me she didn't liked it "overall" [because she didn't liked it, she didn't told me the details - and I haven't insisted].
Nevertheless, sometimes we watch lesbian **** and it arouses us [both] much more than boy-girl. (Female bodies are much more beatiful than male)
This has been ~3 years now, and since then we have been busy on our early journey as parents.
Although I honestly believe she loves me very much, sometimes I can't avoid feeling a bit unsecure because even though I've given her proof that I she can tell me all her desires, sometimes I think she might be afraid it because she is shy...
I just hope I'm completely wrong.
(And on a moment of insecurity because I am working abroad [speaking about this on the phone is not the same thing])
Note: To be fair to me, she would allow me to **** another woman but I don't feel the need... I had one last experience on my bachelor’s party [organized by friends] and it was crap.

I'm going to give some advice here, and you can take it with a grain of salt, but....

You ride her til she bucks you, or you don't ride her at all.

If you are happy with this arrangement, I'd recommend sticking to it. If you are unhappy with this arrangement, I'd recommend changing it.

My wife and I are going through a period of discovery, 13 years in. I ignored her bisexuality, and so did she. She hinted she was into women, but she couldn't imagine chasing them together. She couldn't imagine not being jealous when I sunk into them, but she could perfectly imagine herself alone with a woman.

That's the essential issue for a lot of women. They'd like a girlfriend, but they can't imagine you having one.

Now, we are on the other side of the fence. I'm scared she may be a lesbian. I think she may be scared of it too, but she'd never say that, she's a great partner who is sensitive to me. But I can't help feel it, and I know it may be ridiculous. She says she can't be in a relationship with women, and I have no real reason to discount that. She just wants to rub against them for a bit, kiss, lick. But.....she REALLY wants to rub against them, kiss, lick, etc.

I'm taking it as it comes. I feel like the last **** in the world she is interested in, especially because she took so long to be honest with me about the place women take up in her fantasy sex life. And if she's only interested in one **** in her fantasy sex life, I'm only one **** away from being excluded, matter the result, I love her. She's an amazing person, and I cant' imagine regretting the last 13 years. If we become sexually incompatible, we'll deal with it then.

If you read my post I'm in the same situation. I think my wife is romantically straight but sexually more lesbian. I'm ok with that. I think she is in denial.

My wife is also Bi, she has been with many women, but now, she denies it, and acts like it never happened. I do not understand, why this sudden change? We have not had intercourse in years, I just help myself.

I am an openly bisexual woman, and have always noticed tensions in my relationships with the men I love. Initially, there is prurient curiosity on a guy's part about being with me or with me and another girl, but when things start to get serious and talk turns to moving in together or marriage (in the case of my daughter's father), jealousy rears its head.

By my very nature - having two sides to my sexuality that need fulfillment - I find it impossible to commit to a single person. Not that I sleep around. I usually have one boyfriend and one girlfriend at the same time; I am a polyamorous woman who prefers to be in committed relationships. Nor would I object if my man decided to pursue an outside relationship; it's only fair. In any event, most of my girlfriends (the bi ones) have usually been more than willing to join me and my boyfriend of the moment in the bedroom. So it's not that I am unwilling to share.

What appears to be the hangup for the men in my life is that there is a part of my life that they can never be fully part of. However skilled they may be in stimulating me physically the way another girl does (present BF is highly skilled in this regard - I joke that he is a male lesbian), they can never be with me emotionally in the same way. At the risk of being overly graphic, there is an exquisite ecstasy that I only experience when eating out another woman's ***** and being eaten out in turn. (The best ******* of my life occur while climaxing simultaneously with my girlfriends in the 69 position.) When I am having sex with a female, it is though I were making love to a mirror image of myself. As one of my favorite actresses, Drew Barrymore, herself an openly bi girl, put it: "Being with a woman is like exploring your own body, but through someone else."

Honestly, I am beginning to wonder if the answer to my jealous boyfriend problem is to fall in love with a bisexual man, who has a side to himself that I can never be part of.

I respect you so much I am a bisexual woman married to a man who is so much like you, thank you for posting your emotions, my husband feels the same as you do

You might be faithful to her, but she isn't to you. I would have a problem with that, also you said she isn't allowed to have feeling for the other woman? Really, how you going to keep that from happening? I really hope it works for you.

I am in the same situation, my wife has been bi since we have been married, she likes to tell me about her girlfriends, and things they do. It is fine with me, as you stated, and long as she comes home to me, I have no problem with its, it also turns me on, and sometimes I get to watch. (:

Very intelligent!

Thought I'd give my take on this as a bisexual woman. I have known I was bisexual since well....childhood really. I have dated both men and women. For me though, I'm monogamous. I am attracted to both men and women, yes, but I do not find the idea of having someone 'on the side' appealing in the least bit. I happened to fall in love and marry a man. It could have well been a woman because I did date both men and women. For me, I made a commitment to my husband. I have no desire to have a relationship with a woman solely because I find women attractive, just as I do not find the idea of having an extramarital affair with a man appealing either.
I find the idea of being married and still having a girlfriend/boyfriend outside of a marriage repulsive for me personally. It works for some people I suppose, but for me it's not an option. There is what I call bisexuality and promiscuous bisexuality. Bisexuality is simply that you are attracted to both men and women, while promiscuous bisexuality is when you're not completely satisfied unless you have both needs met- being with your partner (male or female) and being with someone of your own sex (male or female). My main goal in finding a life partner was to be satisfied with that person, JUST that person, no matter their sex, not finding someone I was sorta comfortable with and then having fun with someone else.
I get the impression from a lot of people that being bisexual means you must desire or want to be with both sexes all the time, or that one sex is never fulfilling for you because of your bisexuality and that's just not the case with me.
If I might, the one thing that I have to take issue with in this story is the condition that your wife is not "allowed" to develop feelings of love for another woman, but is allowed to have physical relations with another woman. How can you stop yourself from falling in love with someone? You have to have some sort of affection in order for there to be physical attraction on some level and sometimes, even without knowing it love can take hold even if you don't want it to, or mean for it to, and not just with your wife...but with the other woman as well. I find that playing with fire a bit. And this is exactly why I personally find the idea ill advised if you hope to be her only love forever and always. The only situations in which this might happen and it not be an issue is in a poly relationship- which is pretty open for both parties. This of course is just my opinion on the matter, but as a bisexual woman who can appreciate my own gender from a distance, I have limits for myself in the relationship I have to prevent anything from destroying the wonderful marriage I have with my husband...equally so I'd never put myself in a situation with another man that might harm the marriage I have as well. For me it's monogamy all the way, no matter if my partner is a man or a woman.

Help please how to handle her ? we are going to get married and first i have found out that she like girls aswell and just to test her interest i asked her if she gets a choice to select one person from male and female for sex so what will be her choice she said female outright and today i was just testing her like what more in her mind as a fantasy so she came up with ********* idea 2 males and she :( now i am totally messed up in my mind on the other hand she don't like to get into these things coz she told me that our relation life are more important then these fantasies and she love me i know but again what :(
any suggestions please brake up or continue if continue then how :( i am already divorced once so i am depressed about this scenario please help

Sorry bout your previous..... But ride it out laterally! # Good luck my brother

Hello i need help please advice, actually i have got a girl friend she is 25 and we will be getting married 2 days ago she gave me a sign about liking some girl so i opened up her about that side she said that she never had any relationship with a girl or a guy due to her circumstances and that she likes me like anything as well as girls and she likes to have sex with girl more than a guy what does it mean :( now i am totaly confused she wants to spend life with me and she has that bi side aswell :( i am a straight guy i am thinking about breaking up the relationship :( coz if iget marry then i will be facing the same scenarios like other guys have mentioned above i am totaly confused please help

thank you for posting this i feel like i'm less alone in my experience .....THANK YOU.

My wife of 28 years just came out to me - I've always known she was at least a little bi, but she's only admitted it now. Really weird feelings for me. Sex has never been better - I've been laid at least 30 times this week..gotta start keeping records. Just today I got head, did her on top, bottom, and side to side. And then we just did it on the beach, then in a hot tub. It's like she's in heat and right now I'm just having a great time. And she gets incredibly wild when i whisper fantasies in her ear about future lesbian encounters.<br />
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Now the dark side. I sit here wondering if I did something wrong? Why, even seeing the signs early in our relationship, did I continue like everything was ok? It's like my whole life has been a lie - the bisexuality explains a lot - she was never overly affectionate, never felt comfortable dressing up for nights out (would rather wear jeans and tennis shoes), never liked perfume. But she was also never overtly butch-like. And sex has always been frequent and phenomenal. At this point I'm wondering if her next confession is going to be she's actually full-out lesbian not just bi. <br />
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Personally, like a lot of guys on the site I'm ok with her doing another girl. I want nothing to do with it other than hear the stories. So what are my choices now? Leave my 30 year relationship, 3 kids, start over? Or ride this and think it's just a new side to our sex? Really not a choice i ever wanted to make...

This is ridiculous. All of you... if my bi wife #%*s another woman, then I'm going to either #*%! another woman and satisfy my own carnal heterosexual desires, or I'm getting rid of her. How the hell is it fair for a wife of girlfriend to "explore" her desires, but I can't? I don't care WHAT kind of 'sexual she is... if she is with someone else she is cheating, and WE will cheat until I'm tired of her and she's fired. What, just because your chick is lez she gets a free pass to cheat? Ridiculous. And the only way a ********* works is if I'm the orchestrator. I'm grabbing both ladies hair and pushing people around. Just watch? Are you nuts? I AM a man, remember? I'm running both chicks or they need to get the hell out of my house.

I am with this guy I have been with my wife for 15 years we have 5 kids about 5 years ago she tells me she is in to chicks ok so she is bi 5 months ago she tells me she is not just bi but gay but it is different with me because the relationship we had leading up to her being honest with herself she had been on this .,#***web site that gave her all kinds of ideas these women are not supportive of a woman being monogamous but rather think it is ok if a woman is bi to have a lover and it is not cheating unless she is with another guy. Are you kidding me well if that's the case well I am straight so I should be able to have one as well long story short if she is to be with another woman you better bet your a** I will be there . With rope

I've been married to my wife now for 19 years and have been together for 24. We have had 4 fantastic children and live a good life...I think. Since we met I had a feeling that I couldn't shake about her bisexual nature. Two years ago we were making love when she mentioned a fantasy about another woman and her aura and humidity level went off the charts. Since that moment, our marriage hasn't been the same. She has completely opened herself about her need for another woman to have and hold among other things. She has even expressed openly an enounter she had with another woman and qualified it as a magical moment of deep spirituality that she has never felt before but want to live again. She says that she loves me and that I am the only person in her life that she wants to be with. But that doesn't make sense to me. I am really confused. <br />
We tried the swinger thing and quickly realised that all the other couples wanted was the biwife to play with. So the frustration of always being excluded hasn't solved anything in that solution. We tried ********** but again, the level of energy and intensity pointed that nothing else in the world seem to exist except that moment in time between her and the other woman. Isn't that supposed to be the same with married couples? My question is, do we still have a marriage at all? She says she is mixed up and needs to do some cleaning. What kind of cleaning? Ahh living with a biwife is more complicated than running a multi-million dollar business. lol HELP!!!

I appreciate your comments. My wife of over 20 years has at times mentioned that she would want to have a relationship with another woman. I am very open to it as we have a strong relationship, good sex life, etc. and I want her to experience this aspect of her life. Obviously there is probably some risk involved, but as mentioned, I think she needs to experience this side of her. She is totally devoted to me and has been there as a friend, lover, and everything. I don't believe it will interfere with our life. Last, I agree it does make things a bit more complicated. Please reply as this moves forward with you and I will do the same.

i think you can enjoy ur life with ur woman,if u feel goooood

I am a 26yr old BI CURIOUS WOMAN, I SAY THIS BECAUSE i have yet to have any sexual relations with a woman. I have recently gotten a girlfriend. I am also married to a man an have been for 6yrs. Hopefully this site an these stories will help me along my journey.. If u have any advice feel free to let me kno! Thank you!

For most of my life I lived a poly lifestyle. Sexual relations were normal among friends, couples, & more. Most of my friends were Bi. Eight years ago I met & married a wonderful, beautiful woman and we decided that the open lifestyle wasn't for us & we vowed to be monogamous. Life has been better than good.<br />
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I love this woman with every fiber of my being. If anything, I love her too much as I can't seem to deny her anything.<br />
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Recently she acknowledged her bi desire for a friend of ours. The friend is a lesbian and had the same desire for my wife. They have since made love twice, once with third woman who is also a love of our friend. I have not been with any other lovers or with them.<br />
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My wife loves me. She has no desire to leave me or have another man. I know this and am comfortable with that fact. Yet, for the last two nights I have been haunted with nightmares of my love telling me our marriage is over.<br />
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Perhaps it is just the change in our life, perhaps it is the memories of watching other seemingly strong marriages fail under similar circumstances, (though certainly not all, or even half). It may be that as I've grown older & less capable, I am feeling mortality stalking me. Either way, I need to get over this before *I* cause my dreams to come true.

My wife and I are very clear on our stance on cheating. Alot of other people dont understand that for me to be with another woman would be cheating on her and for her to be with another man would be cheating on me. She wants no relationship with a woman, only a friend with benefits. We dont have **********, and neither of us really has a desire to be with anyone else of the opposite sex. She is bisexual but I am not. It all sounds confusing but we have that understanding between us. The sad part is that my wife has no sexual desire at all due to illness and medications, so we dont have sex at all much anymore. Now thats not fair....but I just have to live with it.

I'm want to be respectful of these comments, but you are saying she wants to be with her girlfriend but not you, and that is because of some medication she is taking? There are no medications you can take to make you a lesbian. DTMFA

My wife doesnt meet with other women anymore. She is bi-sexual and she still likes to look and fantasize, but she doesnt have a desire to actually be with another woman anymore.

Gees, I have wished for a fully bisexual wife for years. I have no problem sharing her with other women as long as she adhears to rules like never falling in love with them and always being there for me and being an appropriate wife. How do you guys meet these women? All I get is boring conservatives! A bi girl would be the perfect match for me! Send them my way!

so as I am reading these comments, I wonder how would all these women feel if they were married to a bisexual man? Most men have streak of bisexuality in them as well but they don't feel the need to express it, at least openly. so I cant help to wonder why the double standard ladies? I love to hear your views specially the women here and the men a well.

I am very happy, we are going to work this out and will be meeting with a counselor who is an expert in polyamory.<br />
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Cheers!<br />
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Thanks for the advice Joe and Bonnie! <br />
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Looks like we are both willing to work this thing out. My wife has agreed to not try to date my half sister and I agreed to be supportive and help her work through her her bi-curiousity. BTW, she has no problem with me also having a playmate, but I want to take everything very slowly and work on our relationship first before involving others. I love her more and more every day, even after 13 years.<br />
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I am not permitted to be with other women myself, and she doesnt wish to be with another man. I am only allowed to join in if it is my wife that I have sex with and not the other woman. I will admit that its been an adjustment, and not always an easy one, but we set the ground rules and we trust each other to stick by them. Right now though, my wife has no sexual desire whatsoever and so she is not sexual with me or anyone else. I have been told that it isnt fair to me....the rules or the lack of sex.....but I love my wife and I know she loves me. We got married for alot more reasons than sex, and that has been the only real problem for us (the fact that we arent sexually intimate together).

You ****** yourself up right from the jump. Either gratification outside of the marriage is ok, or it isn't.

My bi-curious wife of 13 years wants to have a relationship with my 20 year old lesbian half sister that she fell in love with. We have two children and I strongly ob<x>jected to such an arrangement. This is tearing our marriage apart and I am thinking of divorce. She tells me she does not just want sex, which is worse for me, as she says she is looking for a loving relationship with my sister or other women. I should be happy I guess that she does not want other men but I still feel devastated over the situation. To make matters worse she does not want me involved in any way with her partners. I told her that I need time to adjust and see if I can cope with my wife dating other women but that her dating my sister is completely out of the question. I don’t know what to do, I love her very much, and hope we can work this out. She tells me she wants no other man but this does not make me feel better.<br />
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Your help appreciated!

I am a bi sexual female. I solved this problem bi training my het BF into bi experience and desire.

Thats how I saw it....she is who she is, she cant help being bi, and It is not my place to require "change" from her.

I really like what every one here has to say on the subject. It has helped me out tremendously i am anxious on this day because my wife has never been with a women. She went to Maine with her friend whom she came out to. Don't know if she plans on hooking up with her or somebody else. kind of hope she does so we can take the next step in are relationship. In a way i think it is unfair to me that she gets to have sex with other people besides me but if it is something she wants to pursue we have decided that she will find a girlfriend that does not mind my involvement

My wife has been curious about it but never acted on the desire. She just felt guilty instead and didn't try to make friends. Our relationship has been reborn as she has realized that it isn't something to feel guilt over. I encouraged her to seek out friends too, and felt like I needed to let her know it was OK to be physical with someone. After a lot more discussion, our feeling right now is that sex is an integral part of the emotional bond we share, so any physical relations we have must involve both of us. It isn't as much as fairness but of the bonding you gain from contact and reciprocity. Conversely, withdrawal occurs when you are not doing pleasurable things together. <br />
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We also know who we are as people... we grow attached easily and there is only so much capacity we have to communicate before the exhilaration turns to exhaustion. I don't think I'd mind her getting emotionally attached to a woman as long as I could be a part of that connection too (and not just from a sexual perspective). May not be realistic or easy, but that's sort of where our heads are at. <br />
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One thing that has helped me enormously is that we are aggressively taking time to be with ourselves, and engage in a more active lifestyle as a couple. We are helping each other eat better and exercise regularly, and we are seeing constant improvement. We have deep talks about our relationship but I've also reminded her at random that she is a worthwhile, wonderful person in and of herself. But the thing that really made the change was my desktop background, which was a shot of her sitting on a couch a few days after we married. She realized a lot of what she thought of herself back then was just wrong, that she was just as beautiful and sexy as I said, but we've both got some work to do now after 25 years!

This thread gives me hope. I am bi and my husband just told me he would be fine with me having girlfriends. My reaction is a hesitant mix of excitement and fear. He wants no involvement with other women and I have the same "but it's not fair" concerns. I love my husband very much and would hate to do anything that might damage the wonderful relationship we already have. We would have to talk more to work out all the "ground rules" for something like this to work but it is really a comfort to know that there are more couples out there in the same situation. Thank you!

IJ , as i have told you many times you are a great guy ! Would you do me a huge favor? Tell that wife of yours i and many others really miss her , maybe she could come on and say hey once in a while. P.S. Give her a big hug too!

Your comment is noted. My wife has no interest in sex at all....with me or with women. There are reasons involved that have nothing to do with her being bisexual. I am adjusting to living in a sexless marriage. Its not always easy, but we have alot of open communication and we have alot of intimacy and affection. I am not bottling anything up at all.

I can't believe what I’m wife and I met in college, she was already married and had an open relationship with her ex-husband, who was also bi. I had a ********* with her and a girlfriend of hers. I did not enjoy the experience since her girlfriend was a strict lesbian who didn't want anything to do with me. I told her about my bad experience and she told me that she had purposely chosen her friend because she didn't want me to be with other women. This didn't make me we're married and I still want to have a ********* but I will never include her again. I'm sure she feels the same way. Now she acts like she was never bisexual and that topic is a sore one. I know she hasn't changed because she watches **** and its always lesbian ****. I used to think I could have fun exploring my sexual fantasies with her but now there's only jealousy. <br />
When I read Indy's response I notice he always comments that he is not happy with his sex life and admits to being "tempted". I don't think it’s wise to bottle up your emotions because eventually it will ruin your relationship. trust me I know...

For better, fot worse,<br />
For richer, for poorer<br />
In sickness and in health,<br />
Til death do you part.<br />
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A true relationship flourishes when partners understand and accept the other partners traits.<br />
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God be with you.

My wife is not that much into oral sex with me either. She will do it on occasion, but she doesnt do it very long (a minute or two) and I sometimes wish she would do it longer or even bring me to ****** with it. She has only done that a couple of times since we have been together. However She likes getting it and I like giving it, so its not a total loss. It may have nothing to do with your wife's bisexuality....she might not like it even if she were straight. Unfortunately some of us guys get the short end of the stick in this department.

I have a bi wife~~ she doesn't like to suck **** but she'll suck ****,,,and it goes on,,yea i'd wish she was not bi !!!!,,it sucks!! no pun intented!!!

I know i am late with this but i thank you for this because you are the way i am striving to be. Joe you speak the words and feelings in my heart for my wife but i had hang ups and worry. She talks to me and gives me reinsurance that she got me but i never been with a women like her as far as bi and just a in tune honest person. I guess you would say i was from the wrong side of the tracks.<br />
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I await to talk with you and any one who knows clearly what they want

cs996.....My wife offered to turn her back on her bisexual side when we first got together, but I wouldnt permit that. I knew that she may be able to do it for awhile, but in the long run she wouldnt be happy and that she would feel as if a part of herself is missing. I had never dealt with this situation before and I had been through a bad marriage with a cheating wife so it wasnt any easy choice to make. However I knew she was the one for me and I wanted to accept her and love her just as she is. Our sex life isnt the greatest (it isnt even what I would like it to be), but Its a choice I made and I have a commitment to honor. Its also not just her bisexuality that affects our intimacy, there are other factors too which dampen her sex drive. Basically, we just talk about how we feel and we adjust and/or set boundaries to comply. I dont push the issue and I dont pressure her. This is one of those situations where my needs and desires just have to take a back seat. She knows how I feel, and she feels bad that she is not meeting my needs.....I just reassure her that I love her and that she shouldnt worry because I'll be okay. When my desire gets hefty, when frustration begins to set in, I just try to push it aside and ignore it as best as I can until Im over it. As Ive said....its not always easy, its often frustrating, and I know I could possibly be weak to temptation.....but we try to keep open communication and I try to honor the love and commitment I have toward my wife. She is a wonderful woman, she is my best friend, and we have a terrific relationship, so its alot easier to get through the things that I am missing out on. My advice is to focus on what is good in and about your wont change that you are still having needs which arent being met, it wont always take away the loneliness and frustrations, and it wont quench your sexual urges and desires.....It will help you cope and deal with it, and it will help you hold your relationship together.

My wife and I had bisexual relationships before we started dating. After things between us got serious we talked about our sexuality. She said that she couldn't deal with me being with anyone else. So we agreed that there was to be no outside relationships including same sex ones. <br />
Fast forward seven years and she has started to voice a casual interest to have a sexual encounter with woman. I'm not apposed to my wife having sex with another woman. I actually find the thought of it a huge turn on. I am however worried about one thing leading to another. Also I'm worried that our sex life may suffer. I would like any advice from men or women on how to continue with discussions between my wife and me. <br />
Joe I really like the boundaries you and your wife have I to don't have an interest in other sex partners. I would like to watch my wife enjoying herself. <br />
Good to know there might be a solution other then depriving my wife of who she is.

Thanks Tekkamaki......its not always easy to be patient and understanding. I am only a flesh and blood man. But I do what must be done to love and respect my wife for who she is. I get weak, I get frustrated, and I get tempted like anyone biggest fear is not being able to resist should an opportunity ever arise. I just try to avoid any situation where temptation could lurk ( its not that hard to do because women arent easily "tempted" by me).

You have a great attitude for accepting your wife's differences. I've said that I am bisexual but monogamous. I am only interested in one person at a time. Personal preference though. But my husband does give me a slight playful nudge and wink when he sees me checking out a pretty lady. Just looking! LOL!<br />
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I think it's pretty cool that you've discovered the complex emotions and drive in your wife. It sounds like you two have really taken the time to understand each other. I hope the other parts get well rounded out with time as well. Take care, man! : )

Some of the women my wife has flirted with wanted to either have my wife join her and her husband, or if I would be joining with my wife and her. The answer in both cases was always no. My wife and I have discussed the scenerio of a ********* and it was agreed that IF it happened, I would be with my wife and only my wife. That never really set well with the other women, so we never engaged in a ********* (or a foursome with the other guy involved too). I couldnt enjoy a ********* anyway, because I couldnt just let loose and have would be too tempting with another naked woman right there not to cross a line. Ive had alot of people tell me that it isnt fair, that Im getting the short end of the stick and cheated out of fun. Well....from a purely sexual standpoint this could be true. However, I love my wife and she is the woman I want to be with, so I dont feel "short changed" at all. Yes I have needs and desires, and when my wife cannot take care of those I feel like I could use a "**** buddy"....but I just ignore it and wait until my wife is available.

you rock! Before we were married, my wife and I both thought she was bisexual, but after we got married she seems to have lost interest for now, but I came into the relationship with the same attitude you have and would have been the same way... Also, if you do ever join in, you don't have to physically interact with the other woman... I never would if my wife agreed to a *********... make sure everyone agrees on some ground rules, and then I'd just see to it that my wife got double the pleasure while we both pleased her, and she alone would please the other woman, and I'd be pleased by my wife and just watching her enjoying a girl

Believe me....thoughts of just having a friend to have sex with has crossed my mind (I guess it comes from not getting it for long periods of time). I have just never been one to screw around, its not always a moral thing its just me. My wife has no interest in sex at all, she hasnt even been with a woman in a long time.

I kinda understand Joe...<br />
I once got a little upset watching my husband dirty dance with a old girlfriend...but have no problem watching him **** a playmate.<br />
Sex between us is loving, passionate and caring.<br />
What we do with our playmates I like to describe as " recreational sex"...just in it for the pleasure of the moment with no strings attached.<br />
We are each others best lover...the rest is icing on the cake<br />
You really have to experiment with different experiences and openly discuss your feelings about each experience and not let your mind with all the emotional thoughts cloud your judgements.<br />
I had so many fears and concerns about swinging with others before we tried it...but found that 99% of those insecure thoughts were all just in my head.

I appreciate that Katika, But as tempting as it might be neither me or my wife wants a three-some. I might watch if the mood strikes me, but that would be the extent of it. She just wouldnt be able to handle seeing me being sexual with another woman (and I couldnt handle her being with another man)...I know that sounds strange to some people but its complicated to explain.

Joe<br />
I am bi-sexual and hubby is very supportive to my needs as well. In fact when I'm with another woman I encourage my husband to participate as I enjoy the best of both worlds.<br />
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try all might enjoy

Thank You. I am not bisexual myself. She is very faithful in sticking to the rules, and though she doesnt tell me all of the details, she tells me when she is or wants to be with a woman. Our marriage is great, but its far from a dream marriage. Thanks for reading my story and sharing your comment.