I Married a Drug Addict.....

So 3 years ago I met my husband.  He made me feel like no one else ever has.  I was truly happy then.  He is 11 years older then me and I knew that he had a problem with many different drugs for about 20 years off and on.  I tried to let him do his thing to avoid causing problems with our relationship.  We both have children from past relationships who spent half of their time with us.  Most of the time he wasn't around, about 8 hours out of the day he would be out with his friends so I was happy the kids didn't have to see him like that .  I knew he was getting high because I saw the marks on his arms and hands when he would come home.  I have tried everything to get him to straighten up.  I have threatened to leave, to tell his parents (who don't know about what he does), take the children away, and lastly to call the police.  He would threaten me back by saying that he would say whatever he had to to my family and to the family courts to make sure that I never saw my children again.  2 years later we have 1 child together, and I had an accident that has put me out of work and on SSD.  His Mother owns my house, his car, and his family does not like me because they think I am the one who is on drugs due to the things he tells them when they see me upset.  I don't know what to do.  I can't leave because he has made sure I have no friends, no family, no money and no way to live with my children.  My family doesn't want anything to do with me because I have let him treat me bad and abuse me for so long and they can't understand why I won't leave.  I am trying to get full custody of my child from my past relationship that requires everyone involved to take random drug screens twice a week.  So far he has managed to cheat his way through them without failing but he has had a diluted test 2 different times which has caused me to look bad to the judge.  I can't leave because that would make me unstable and if I stay I have to have my relationship and life with my daughter rest on his decisions.  He won't stop.  He has been abusing heroin for 20 years now so I know in my heart that it's very unlikely that he can but a part of me thinks that maybe this time he means it when he says he will quit. 

jaytay413 jaytay413
22-25, F
3 Responses Mar 2, 2009

Please get out soon if you haven't already. It will never change or stop and you can't allow him to have so much control over your like. If your family and friends aren't around, please find a support group. There are plenty. You are a good, strong woman and have so much ahead of you that will make all of this just look like a bad dream one day. Good luck.

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I think you said it all with the following statement.<br />
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"My family doesn't want anything to do with me because I have let him treat me bad and abuse me for so long and they can't understand why I won't leave."<br />
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It isn't fair. There are no guarantees. But, it seems to me that if you don't leave....you will lose for certain the little you have left.<br />
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You need to plan your escape. Get help from those who are willing to help you. <br />
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And....never look back.<br />
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But hey....I almost stayed too long and who am I to be giving advice?<br />
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I am free now. Not because I had the courage to leave but because he died. I wish I could have said goodbye. I think he knew he was doomed. I think he is finally at peace.<br />
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And, I am stuck straightening out the mess my life had become.