It's Time For A Group Dealing With Histrionic Spouses

When I met my wife she was a blast!! Incredible sex, partying, and just general craziness! She won me over with her charms! She treated me like I had never been treated before. Constant gifts, phone calls, giving me oral sex all of the time. I was just overwhelmed!

Needless to say, I wasn't going to let that go. There were some red flags. She had a temper, and she often got jealous, but hey, nobody is perfect.
So, we married. The constant sex and attention continued for a few years. She would often get jealous, and accuse me of cheating on her. This also happened when we dated. I just chose to overlook it. If I came home late from work she complained about it. Then she would complain about there not being enough money. She had constant demands and projects. Once one job was completed she was onto something else. When I wasn't working or doing a project there were always other people around for her endless parties. To be honest, it was fun, but it was exhausting.
Somehow, through all of this, I was somehow the center of her attention. She just fed my ego. She would brag to her friends about the great sex we had. She put me on a very high pedestal.

Then, the day came for her to kick the pedestal out from under me. It was stunning how quickly it happened. The sex stopped, her attention stopped, and I was simply discarded as a person. It was as though I suddenly meant nothing to her. All that mattered to her was buying stuff and whoever her latest friend was. This just crushed my spirit.
I chased the good memories for years, trying to win her back. Nothing worked. It was like she flipped a switch. Nothing I said seemed to even matter. I longed for the days when she showered me with love and sex, yet they seemed so far away. My brain and body could not comprehend how she could just turn it all off!
She would get angry at me all the time. She complained about money all the time. She would say hurtful things about me to other people.
Of course, the pedestal was not kicked out from under me until after we had kids, so I was in very tough situation.
To make a long story short, I am still with her, keeping stuff together for the kids. I am repairing my spirit and trying to rebuild the credit rating she absolutely destroyed. I have realized that nothing I could do could save the marriage or restore the relationship. She would be very nice to me and lure me in from time to time, but I eventually figured out that she did that when she wanted something. As soon as she got what she wanted she went back to ignoring me.

It was just in the last couple of weeks that I discovered what a histrionic personality was. It was so eye opening reading about the disorder and realizing that this is what wrecked my life. Being married to a histrionic woman is like stepping on a landmine. It will take years to pick up all of the pieces. I figure there are some pieces that I will never be able to put back together.
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2 Responses Jan 14, 2013

ditto and ditto bro. I'm reading my own story

Yea, I have to google as well. I'm not familiar with it. But your situation sounds like mine. So sorry you have to deal with that. I know its tiring. Good luck